(BEDA #4).

God I don't like my hair. I mean, I like my hair, but I dislike my new fringe. It's so... 'goody-two-shoes'. I look as innocent as it is; and I don't want to like a preppy school girl, again. I hate how cutesy I look with this new hair. Not that I was bad-ass and edgy as it is, because I went to the library yesterday and picked up reservations. No-one bad-ass reserves books at the library. Think about it: would Dirty Harry amidst whatever he does, stop to go pick the Sarah Dessen book he ordered? No, no he wouldn't.

Yeah, I completed most of my plans from yesterday, except for the whole, er, homework part. That was expected, though. Was I really going to get started on my Frankenstein essay after picking up books. Plus, I had little left of Centre of My World, which I did finish. The book was good, but I liked the end a lot. I started reading Awkward Situations for Men by Danny Wallace (not to be confused with Daniel Wallace).

I should really go upstairs and check my phone to see what time me, Lauren, Ellie and possibly Sophie are going bowling. I haven't been bowling in a while, and I'm sort of excited, except once I think about it, bowling is kind of boring. And I'll get hungry, and food in there is expensive. Eurgh, I just can't win.

I read Kick Ass yesterday, and liked it a little bit. I want to read the next in the series, so that should be a good sign. It's a bit gruesome and weird, but I like it.

What else...

I threw another tantrum about SOA (Sons of Admiral), and ignored my mother for the whole day. It pretty much backfired at the end of the day where I let her hug me goodnight, but I made sure she still knows I'm freaking pissed about this holiday. She doesn't seem to understand that no matter what she does now, the holiday is still going to suck, just because I missed SOA. It's just not going to be worth it because I missed an amazing gig and the chance to meet an amazing author. Plus he's launching his new book, and that sucks. I hate everything.

I cried a lot too; I couldn't imagine my body having that much water in it for starters, but I couldn't think of not crying. I leaned my head against my door and sat there and cried for a good hour straight. An ugly, ungraceful, loud type of weeping. I screamed some more at my mother and she seemed a bit more upset about it. My brother felt sorry for me and asked my parents again if there was no way of rescheduling, but I knew there isn't.

I still kind of can't believe that I can't go. That it's a memory I won't share with my friends, and I arranged it all and found out about it. It's not fair and I feel like crying again.

I'm bored now.

Always yours,

Mel.