adios two thousand and nine.

Yet another quickie to wish everyone who reads this a very happy new year. For the first time ever, I feel sad at the end of a year, simply because, I, for the first time, had a year good enough for me to never want to forget it.

Here, it's still three minutes past ten, but I know that over there in the UK it's already 2010, which is bizarre, but whatevs innit bruv mate yeah. And it's probably past midnight over in Autralia, or not... Yes it is. Asked my papa. Sooo, happy 2010 Elisabeth! Hope you have a spectacular year. I miss England.

Felt a pang of nostalgia these past days because it's been raining lots and lots. My uncle, aunt and grandma were stranded because the rain had flooded the entrance bit of her flat, and they even had to go up the stairs, because it had reached inside the building and into the lift/elevator.

Spent these past days at my friend's, Luiza, and it was kinda awkward but fun. I met her friend, who, although was, as we'd say in Braz(s)il, "simpatia em pessoa", which means, "friendless in person", was also stupidly scadalously pretty. Every time I looked at her I felt like more and more of a tramp in my baggy t-shirt and old baggy denim shorts. I'd put a picture on here, because one of her older friends is a professional photographer whose picture are just plain gorgeous, but it feels too stalkerish since I barely know her.

The bad thing about going there was that I have a huge crush on her younger older brother --he's seventeen. He has the same name as my dad, Gustavo, and is tanned with ze most perfect six-pack I've ever seen. Not to mention he's so sweet; I mean, it probably meant nothing to him because this is how we greet people in Braz(s)il, but when he arrived from his work, he smiled at me and kissed me on both cheeks. Thinking aobut it now, my cheeks glow red and my stomach tightens and I hope my cousins don't notice me and continue to focus on Super Mario Galaxy.

Her older older brother is also really sweet, but as a genuinely older brother way. He showed us some magic tricks which my Luiza, my friend, discarded as lame and the oldest in the book. I, personally, thought they were pretty cool. He also played his guitar loudly to annoy his parents, and his dad yelled, "Close the door; I don't want to have to listen to that noise."

He coolly responded, "Yeah, but it's no fun make noise if no-one can hear it." --made my laugh.

Let's see... what else...

- Watched ze movie of P&P and possibly loved it more than the book. Was so sweet and cute, and made me visualise the book a bit more. Liked the alternate US ending in the special features, which consisted of a cute scene with Darcy and Lizzie. In it, they were discussing pet names, and she said that 'my dear' was not allowed, for it was what her father called her mother when he was cross; 'darling' everyday, I think; 'My pearl' on Sundays; and something else about a Goddess on special occasions. He then asked what to call her when he was cross, and suggested 'Mrs Darcy'. She replied that no, only when he was perfectly and incandescently happy. He then proceeded to kiss her forehead, gap in between her eyebrows, tip of nose, jaw, chin and then finally her lips, all while whispering, "Mrs. Darcy."

Also, the scene where Darcy helps Lizzie into the carriage and it's when they touch for the first time. You can see Darcy stretch out his hand as if it stung afterwards. SO CUTE. I love little things like that.

- Watched X-Men 3 again. Still think that Marie and Logan is forever. Sorry, Ciara. If you read the fanfiction I read, you'd understand. Only then.

- Met my cousin who was born on my birthday. She's called Ester. Is so cute. I'm in love with her, in the non-creepy way. It saddens me that I'll barely see her. Love her uncontionally and waiting for her to get here, if she does.

- Had the family secret Santa. Ester got me, and I got my Grandma. Got Gran a grill, like a George Forman one but not quite so often, and Ester got me a jumpsuit type thing which I'm wearing right now. It's gorgeous. Unfortunately, am also wearing a tooth paste stain. Is terrible. So, so terrible.

- My cousin cut her chin open like me one of these days, like me, on the edge of a swimming pool. I was also her age when I did so. She, however, did not need stitches; I needed 3.

- Sorry I forgot to wish you guys a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, whatever. Hope your holidays were stunning.

-- Merani.

mergh. why am i still here?

"God knows the world doesn't need another band,
But what a waste it would've been."
Looking Up - Paramore

I miss England. Too hot here for me to be able to bother to blog. I'm only doing this for you Ciara, be happy you souless monkey slut.

Went to Campo Grande today. Bought a pretty white dress for the new year. See, here, they take New Year much more seriously. People only stay at home if they're too tired to go out to the beach, otherwise they're there. Also, there's superstitions and beliefs, such as if it's an even year it's good, because it's even (although, when it's odd, e.g. 2009, they also say it's good, because it's odd), and you have to eat seven grapes whilst hopping on one foot. Not everyone believes in these, but what everyone does is dress in white, to start the year with purity. Because of this, it's usually pure white, with no patterns and stuff; sometimes yellow for happiness or green for wealth or something, but always something white. ALWAYS.

I've also heard that if it's all red, someone in your family or adjacent family or something, dies. Nice, huh?

This year I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going. Might go to Copacabana with my uncle, or might go to Barra da Tijuca with my auntie. Not sure. Don't care. I have a pretty dress.

Watched The Corpse Bride a few times. By a few times I meant four in the last two days; at least. I love Victor so much. He's so sweet and awkward. In fact, I love Johnny Depp. Ciara, I know you wouldn't do him, but I would. So, so would. He wouldn't have to dress up as Jack Sparrow or anything. In fact, when I went to see Avatar, and the advert for the new Alice in Wonderland came on, I was sitting there thinking, "Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Hehe, Helen is so funny. Wah, big pretty green eyes. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Attractive."

FINISHED P&P. MR. DARCY IS LOVE. FITZWILLIAM DARCY IS LOVE. No, srsly. I rather liked it. Characters were loveable, and although there was a lot of dialogue, what Austen could reveal with it was admirable. Four stars.

Paramore. Realised I haven't blogged about it yet.

Ok. So it was amazing. Seriously, I think back on it now and geniunely feel sad that I can't ever go back to that moment where I was screaming, "I LOVE YOU HAYLEY!111". I lost my voice and bought a t-shirt. Unforch they didn't play my favourite song off their new album, 'Playing God', but it was awesome all the same. I was sweating like a pig, my hair sticking to my neck despite it being in a shabby ponytail; my mascara had most likely ran down, ditto with my eyeliner; my throat ached from screaming too much and it burned with thirst, but when I yelled along to 'Where the Lines Overlap, to the lyrics, 'No one is as lucky as us', I felt that never truer words had been spoken.

Hope to blog soon,

--Merani.

we actually spell it brasil here, but whatevs.

Hey blog! You'll never guess what? I'm in Brazil. I know?! Insane right?! No, not really you silly goose. I come here roughly once a year.








God was it ever hard to get here? As you may or may not know, I have to take a transit flight to get to Brazil, so I stop in America. Because my mother gets a discount, it's cheaper, trust me.


So, we get to Houston and the only flight to Brazil is at nine o'clock in da evening. We know this, of course; it has always been this way. So, we go to this shopping mall/centre called Greenspoint, which we usually go to. I now have some Converse in white and a new ipod charger cable thing. Life is all fine and dandy.


Then, return to VIP area and pick up bags. Proceed to Terminal 18E or something or rather. Get there, no space on the plane, so we don't go. Lemme explain: we're standby, we only get to go on the plane if they have extra room, which is a pain, but at least we get to usually go First Class, which is nice.


So, we stay at this hotel called the Ramada, which we only learn about by chance, and go there, because breakfast is included. Get there, brush teeth and off to bed.


Wake up rather tired due to an inconvenience (?) known as TIME CHANGE, and stagger down to breakfast, wearing ma new shoes. Get juice over my new shoes. Angst. Do you want to know how I spilt it? I'm sure it will amuse you. Here's what happened: I was putting my egg and sausages in the microwave to heat up, and then put the cup in front on the microwave door. When I tried to remove the items from the microwave, the door was a little stiff, so I recklessly yanked it open, thus knocking over the cup, so that the contents dribbled down onto my feet.


Try again for about three more days at the airport and fail to get on a plane. Meet two families of Brazilians who live in Boston and discuss how horrible the weather is and how the snow stops everything. Play on DS and train Brain. Read The Lovely Bones. Eat unhealthy food to the point where skin begins to break out. Frustration. Spend full twenty minutes trying to arrange hair which I cut myself, meaning it's all lop-sided and awkward. Learn actions to The Twelve Days of Christmas from my brother. Forget it after Eight Maids-a Milking.


Go to airport again. Meet adorable little boy named Daniel. Actually get on plane. Go on plane and finish reading The Lovely Bones. Start watching the first Princess Diaries. Fall asleep. Wake up. Have dinner. Fall asleep. Wake up and laze around until plane lands. Arrive.


That was the journey. I also went to downtown Houston and to another shopping centre called Deerbrook so I could see Avatar with my family. That was good. Would not make my top ten favourite films of the year, but would be in the top twenty, definitely. I was strangely attracted to the guy, but only when he was blue. As I left the cinema, some guy, who clearly did not like the film, was ranting on about how it was, and I quote, "...Dances With Wolves --with Smurfs." That made me laugh, because it was a little slice of true.


Am now losing weight due to uncontrollable and uncomfortable sweat. Just had some desserts and felt bad because I was too stuffed to eat anymore depsite them looking delish.


Started reading Pride and Predjudice. It's so hot here I can barely be bothered to move. I just lay in the hammock reading Pride an Predjudice, which Í'm still not halfway through, because it's so long. Seriously, it's mostly dialogue. It's not too bad, but I wish Austen described surroundings more, and stopped the peeps talking about bs. I love Mr. Darcy though. I love, love, love him. And Elizabeth is cool, but atm she's like, 'BLERGH MR. DARCY'S EVIL BECAUSE HE TREATS HIS FATHER'S GODSON IMPOLITELY. THE NERVE OF HIM. I HATE HIM BUT I'M STILL GONNA LET HIM KISS MY HAND TWICE WHEN WE'RE AT THE BALL. MAARGGHHH.', which I dislike. Mr. Darcy is awesome. At least, I think that's the reason why... Not sure. If you know, tell me, because that's all I could pick up.


Hm. What happened today.


- I was sick outside my Gran's flats for some reason. I woke up feeling off-ish and then felt sick for the whole car ride from ine to hers, and then I couldn't pretend I wasn't feeling ill anymore and informed my Gran. She rushed me outta the car and I was sick by a tree. It was yellow. Yes, I know you wanted to know that. You're welcome.
- Apparently I'm getting 'colour'? Great. So before, I was so white I was transparent? Not fair --my whole family's tanned or capable of becoming so.
- Went to the market today with my auntie to buy lunch. I ate a bolinho de carne, which is like, a salty snack with meat. It's nice. And I had sugar cane juice, which is also really nice.
- Played on the Wii; Rayman's rabbits.
- Watched Pirates of the Caribbean and giggled and smiled to myself the whole way through. My brother asked what was funny, and I was like, "Ah, that Jack --he's so funny!" *dismissive wave of the hand* If you didn't know, a guy dressed as Jack Sparrow at EXPO touched my arse twice, which I decided to be flattered by. Now I just go around claiming that Jack Sparrow treated me nicely. Is fun.




See you guyses soon,

--Merani.

PS. That little boy really was cute. My mum was talking to him in a queue, and he said he was going on a plane. "That's right!" My mum replied. "Where's the plane gonna take you?" The boy blinked at her, pointed and looked towards the ceiling and answered, "Up." <3

the british can still be thankful.

So... Inspiration for blogging has seemed to have thinned fairly recently. As always, my life has been delightfully uneventful.

So readers. I am currently getting ready for my holiday in Brazil. And while for those who don't know me, may think that that's totally cool and random and exciting. But really, I've been too many times and all I do is see my family again and pretend that I'm not socially awkward and can speak Portuguese without stuttering.

So, that may sound that I'm terribly spoilt, but really, I'm not. The main thing I guess is that I'll miss my friends and that I just get really bored. And I have a 23 hour voyage. The good thing is that I stop in America for six hours and I get to converse with them and feel really intellectual.

And my hand luggage has tiled Chinese dolls printed on it. I'm perfectly aware of how awesome it is, and I'll let you be jealous. It's ok.

Kay. So yesterday I went to Sophie's and had the most fun I had had in a while. Beforehand I had goen to Kate's , and we made cookies of characters such as Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Jareth, Dumbledore, Peter Pan, etc. We then made videos with them, with her parents in the next room. Gosh we're cool.

So me and Kate got the train to Hove Station and walked to Sophie's. On the way, we ran into Ryan and he made casual chit chat, which made me smile, because had we ran into any other boy in the popular crowd, they would have just looked at the ground and pretend that they hadn't saw us, and they would've excepted us to do the same.

But seriously, it was ridiculous amounts of fun. I watched Home Alone for the first time and felt like a five year old again, because it was so cheesy and so badly acted, but I still was in stitches. And screaming when the dude stepped on a needle. Seriously, Macaulay Culkin is a devil child. But he's still so, so cute.

So yeah. We made a pretty weird looking cake. It was fine when the icing was blue and it looked really sweet (no pun intended? I really mean sweet), but then Sophie added the red icing too, and it went browny, purple. Friggin' retard. Then she threw on Smarties and Mini Marshmallows, and it looked like a bizarre mess. If you've seen The Grinch, well, the only way I can explain it is that it's the sort of colourful mess that belongs in that interpretation of the world of the Whos.

Then Kate went home and me, Lauren and Sophie watched Nerimon and drank hot chocolate.

So I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, being on the wrong side of the world and all, but I'd be thankful for days like yesterday. And mostly my friends in general.

Okay, questions:

What are your favourite Christmas songs? Mine are Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Pablo the Mexican Reindeer, Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, Baby It's Cold Outside, 12 Days of Christmas, Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer, Please Daddy, and practically the rest of them.

What do you want for Christmas? I want a digital camcorder and the knowledge of how to edit videos successfully so I can be a vlogger too! :D

Are you doing anything for the holidays?

Love, Merani.

sorry blog.

I apologise for neglecting you. I also apologise to Lauren, who is possibly the best person in the world, simply because she keeps nagging me to write in this thing, thus making me feel special.

So here I am.

Today is Sunday, and I should really be starting my History and R.E. essay. But I can always do that tomorrow, when I can't go on the computer and can't be distracted. I mean, sure, I can carry on reading The Shining, but I won't. Shut up brain --stop trying to give me distractions for tomorrow.

I'll actually go get ready soon so I can go to town with Kate; we're going Christmas shopping, because we're exhchanging presents next Saturday. Why so early, you may ask? Because I'm going to Brazil in two weeks time, meaning I'll be missing Christmas, so we're doing this early.

So yeah. Decided to buy presents for: Lauren, Kate, Leah, Sophie, George, Sara, Mum, Dad and Calvin. I'm gonna receive around £20 for this, and it should be enough. Getting Sophie some bracelets and Lauren a book. The Time Traveler's Wife to be exact. Can't spell Traveller's/Traveler's. Damn.

Ok, so yesterday was chaotic. Went to London, which was nice. I like London. I feel all British and stuff and like, lucky, y'know? I dunno, Americans can go to New York or somewhere cool like that for a weekend or go on a roadtrip here or something. So, London is the most famous place I live near; Brighton doesn't quite cut it, despite it being as lovely as it is.

But it pretty much fucked up a lot. A whole lot.

Basically, my mum neglected to mention we were going to the Landmark Forum, which is like, to say lightly, just bollocks. I mean, the motive is to take control of your life and love living it, but bleh. Did not appeal and did not sign up for it.

Two people informed us on what is was and what the eff it was about. The lady was called Paula Ver-something. She looked as if Glinda got bad highlights and stole Elphaba's nose. She was overly quirky and smiley, so I noticed her teeth were kind of crooked. I know that's kind of harsh, but yeah, I was actually writing it all down in my head so I could actually blog about it later.

The guy was called Ricardo and was from Venezuela.

Paula did most of the talking.

Long story short, they asked about us and what we thought about life and stuff. I decided to be difficult (because I went there against my own will and felt no need to be pleasant), and said that I loved school and liked life and that it was awesome. Ahh, lying is fun.

Then we got talking about my friends and I told her about Leah. She said that I should do it to basically be honest and whatever. I got impatient and just denied everything she said and I think by being difficult I made her not like me.

What's more, I didn't like her. Because she just always had this smug, knowing smile and whenever I said something, she would smile fake-ly and nod for about three seconds, as if she wanted me to expand on everything I uttered.

Bah, more later.

Lotsa love, Merani.

PS. I love you Lauren, Ciara, Kate, Elisabeth, and 'I don't know...', who is following me now.

mine and kate's life.

This is what me and Kate do in Science. If you wanna see it larger, click and drag or whatever. I dunno, I think it's pretty brilliant.

See y'all.

PS. Good book to read: At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks; I promise you won't expect the ending.

requested by ciara and laurennn.

How did you get here under my skin, swore that I'd never let you back in. - Here We Go Again - Demi Lovato.



Yeah I like Demi. I like Taylor Swift too. Suck. It. I like what I like (Only felt the need to mention this because people think I'm lame because I like Disney, Demi, Taylor and Twilight, which sucks. I'm not that bad once you get know me, promise!).

God I feel so loved, both Lauren and Ciara demanded that I blog soon because:

a) "You said you'd blog on Tuesday and didn't." - Lauren.

b) "Every time I go on the computer I click on your blog but it's always an old post." - Ciara.

So yeah, on the phone to Kate as I type this, talking about James' shocked face as he witnessed me click my neck. She says it's gross and "Hello, followers of Merani that never followed me. Hello."

I like Charlieissocoollike because he is cute and attractive and British like me (The British part, not the cute or attractive).

Oh! And I was mentioned in Emily's blog! Which is exciting because I really admire her and think she's brilliant at writing. So, that was nice and I felt truly honoured.

Hmm.... See this is why I don't blog, or at least haven't recently, because there's nothing that interesting going on in my life at the moment, and I'm not having that many deep thoughts that I can think about yesterday. I mean, I've been thinking about the multiple ways I could have Luke in my History class out of my life, and how to stop myself from slapping Leah.

Oh! Ok. Something to talk about.

Ok, Leah, so it seems, doesn't think about how if you say certain things, it'll make situations awkward. For example, I know this boy called Charlie, who is lovely and who I started talking to fairly recently when we queued outside for R.E., and he was very lovely, but seemed slightly scared of me, which amused me, so I made a point about going, "Charlie! Charlie!", in a shout-whisper, if you know what I mean.

And then, one Maths lesson, Ryan cried, "Why do we need to do this?", when we were doing Upper/Lower Bounds. I had mentioned to him previously that I hoped to become an author when I was older, so I replied, "Because my book might not get published."

And he laughed, which is pleasant by the way; Ryan's laughter is really infectious and it's really, er, heartily, if you know what I mean? It just seems like when he laughs he finds it particularly funny.

Regardless, Ryan asked me if I had started to write the book, which, I hadn't. So I told him that.

"Er, I dunno," I laughed nervously as I said it. "It's in my head somewhere."

Anyway, Charlie then turned his attention to our conversation and asked if I knew it was about. I said yes, because that's true, because it'll be about a boy and a girl who are going to fall in love passionately but painfully, because they can't live without each other and stuff.

See? It sounds better and less cheesy in my head, and I know that people my age don't appreciate my kind of romance, so I didn't wanna say, in order to not be laughed at. So, I just went red and continued to do my work.

Carrying on, the same day, I had English, a lesson with I also have Charlie with. So, he turns to me and demands, "What's your story about?". I started to converse with him, admitting it was about a boy and a girl, and that they're gonna do stuff.

In between this, Leah decided to claim, quietly, "You would make a good couple." I ignored her and carried on talking to Charlie.

"Sex?" he asked, and I said that possibly.

So, Leah decides to voice her opinion a little louder. She asked me if I would like to have sex with Charlie, and I politely and carefully declined. She then proceeded to ask Charlie; I could have slapped her.

But, the thing is, I think it's different for boys and girls. I mean, I could say no, and Charlie wouldn't be offended, and people would accept that. However, if Charlie said no, I got the feeling Leah would've made it a big deal and would have 'Ooohed' saying he was calling me ugly or something, y'know?

So, she just doesn't give him time to reply and just turns to me, just deciding that we were gonna have sex.

So... Yeah, me and Charlie were in English yesterday and we were sort of talking and the atmosphere was really tense and awkward, when it didn't need to be. So I'm pissed at her.

She just has NO SUBTLETY WHATSOEVER, which is a problem.

I've never been able to tell her properly the guys I like, because she'll just make it excruciatingly obvious in front of them, whereas, when she told me, I didn't tell a soul, especially the boy himself. If I did, way back in Year 8, she still wouldn't forgive me; the one time I did, compared to her, who did it every single time I told her, I told George, and she still brings it up.

Wow, massive ranting blog post about one of my closest friends. That's how complicated my life is.

Whatever, Leah needs to get a clue about what being a true friend, basically.

Express yourself in the comment section: do you have a similar friend? any advice? etc.

Lotsa love, Merani xoxo.

jasper is just plain win, and you not it people.

"It'll be nice not to want to kill you all the time." - Jasper Hale.

And that is why I adore him, oh-so-much. Four lines people, four lines. I think I smell awesome.

So, yeah. Saw New Moon on Friday, and loved it. Like, the experience itself was so much better than Twilight, but the film altogether was pretty good too, though I doubt it really makes any sense to anyone who hasn't read the book(s). I really think Kristen's acting has improved dramatically, and that Taylor's working out has seriously been worth it. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if I started writing Bella/Jake fanfiction. Beware.

But for real, I cried out in frustration when Jake and Bella nearly kissed in the kitchen, which scared me. It's just... Gah. I dunno. I could really just see how much Jacob really loved Bella throughout the whole film; Taylor did him justice. Completely.

Oh, and Robert was gorgeous, as usual.

And Jackson was just Jackson. I really do love him, so, so, so much. I feel like I wanna squeeze him every time he comes on screen.

Kate mentioned that she was blushing to me when Jake popped on screen. When he was gone, and Jasper appeared, I put her hand on my cheek and she laughed incredulously at how warm it was.

But, overall, the audience truly made the night special. The feeling of having so many people screaming at the same time with you is so exhilarating, and there was much more fangirling this time than at Twilight, and fangirling is always vast amounts of fun.

New Moon: 4 stars. Audience: 13 stars.

So me and Kate made vlogs. And I mentioned Elisabeth, so, if you're reading this, then yeah, you're gonna be referred to on Youtube. Hope that's ok. I'll link it in HERE when it's up.

So I slept round Sophie's, which was possibly the funniest time I've had in a long time. I never realised quite how hi-larious she can be, particularly in photographs. I'll try to upload them here too.

More on Tuesday.

XOXO.

mergh. test.

I just noticed I start my blog posts with... noises. As in, "blergh", "gyahh", etc. I'm so weird.

Anyway, just trying to tie in a quick blog post in between revising. I'm only allowing myself to do so because I have more of a basic idea of what I need to know and stuff, and now it's just reading over as opposed to learning and stuff.

I broke down in tears yesterday as I realised how little I knew when it came to Science, and I thought about all the stuff I was writing in my little revision book thingy, and how it was too much to learn by Friday. Even now, I think about it and I get anxious, so I think I'll get back to reading it over and over again soon.

Whatever, the last few days have just been exhausting and I am just sick, sick, sick of science. I feel like I've thought nothing of acids, alkalines, etc, and that there's no room for daydreaming about love stories. And that makes me sad. What is a romantic without romance in her life? Nothing, I tell you, nothing.

So, I'm hoping that all my efforts will pay off. Well, now doesn't really count as revising. Gah, overwhelming amounts of guilt.

I can't be bothered to talk about in detail what happened on Sunday, but, the ten minutes extra I spent on the computer, made me two hours late. Two hours late. I've never been so late in my life. I bitterly and reluctantly started crying due to sheer embarrassment.

But when I got there it was fine. Kate didn't seem pissed, though I expected her to be.

I'm actually gonna go now. Bye!

PS. Who else is excited about New Moon on Friday? Ahmagawd.

XOXO.

nyahhh.

Lauren: "I'm very clever."

I thought I should throw that in there.

Well, reason for my lack of blogs: Science GCSE Exams on Friday. Three of 'em. And that's not fun. So, I've been revising like a bitch in a desperate attempt to stop getting D's in the actual test, like I have with the practice ones.

Shout out to Elisabeth again because she's a lovely, lovely person. I'm jealous of her being actually able of understanding science, seeing as she is a Science student, and of her fencing skills (Congratulations on being second!).

I'm gonna go revise some more now.

Love, Merani XOXO.

gyahhh.

I only have about twenty-five minutes to both get dressed and leave the house, to get the bus, to get the train, to Kate's house. And the more I sit here thinking about it, the more I feel the need to get up and start.

So this is gonna be a quick blog. Yes another quickie. Yes, kinky -I know.

I woke up to the fierce thrashing of rain against my window, and it's not the first time this week. It's been rainy and windy, and cold and grey; the type of weather I hate the most. Though, it does make me feel awfully British, which makes me feel rather pleased.

So I laid in bed and finished off reading A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks, the same guy that wrote The Notebook. I saw the film for The Notebook, and watched the trailer for A Walk to Remember and meant to see it at some point round Lauren's or whoever's, but I never did. It's a fairly short book, which, to be honest, did not live up to my expectations; I thought they fell in love far too quickly (I would say that that's a spoiler, but it's not, because it's so blatantly obvious) and that he could have stretched it out and described what feeling in love is like, but I digress. It was a good book nonetheless.

I also got out another three books of his, two random ones, and The Shining by Stephen King. I admire him deeply, despite only watching a scene and a half of Carrie; he seems like a guy that knows what he's talking about. Also, he's rich, I'm assuming, but he carries on writing.

I mean, that one of the things that bothers me about J.K. Rowling. Sure, if she were to write another book, there'd be a lot, and I do mean a lot, of pressure on her, and she's so enviably wealthy that she doesn't really have to, but surely she enjoys writing, and would continue to do so simply because of that fact.

Besides, I'm certain that she can never go wrong, because of her imagination, creativity and exceedingly good writing skills. Meh.

Gah 12:16. Really must go soon.

But, anyway, it's my mother's birthday today and it was my brother's party yesterday.

God, I had to be my mother's assistant for the party yesterday. Just me, my mum, my dad and fourteen 11-10 year olds running amok hysterically. That was not fun. Though, I did get to eat some party rings, which were naice. And I got to go to the library, which was, indeed, very, very fun. Gawd, I'm such a geek *squeals*.

So yeah.

Current obsessions:

- Miguel from The Road to El Dorado.
- Jareth, the Goblin King.
- Sarah/Jareth-ness.
- 'Defying Gravity' - Idina Menzel.
- Girls Next Door fancomics on dA.

Gah gotta run. :*

not a good day.

Funny how whenever I see it's 13°C, I think it's gonna be a good day, and then it never is. Today, however, it jumped to a whole new level; I was sick today. Three times. And I know it's the most beautiful image in the world to put on a blog post so that it's imprinted in a reader's mind, but yeah. You're welcome.

And it's all because of one simple fact: I have a uterus, and it hates me.

I began to feel the usual symptoms of that time of the month in French, when my stomach cramps became unbearable , and I co could actually feel the colour leaving my face and my pores widening. I really don't know how else to explain it, but it became hard to breathe as well.

I could feel, as well, the burning gaze of Simi, the girl who was sitting next to me since Lauren wasn't there.

Then I summoned up the courage to raise my hand and ask permission to go to Matron's, because I wasn't feeling well. Miss looked like she had been expecting it and said that I did, indeed, look very pale. Ah, isn't it nice when the whole class turns around to look at you? Especially when you look as attractive as I'm sure I did back there.

Miss asked Simi to come with me, and I stumbled out and down the stairs. I kept my eyes down as I staggered down the steps, I kept wished for more than anything for me to not collapse and for Matron's office to be closer.

Eventually we did make it, and Mr. Eldridge answered to the beep of the buzzer/doorbell thing. Simi explained how I was feeling, and as he turned to me, I breathlessly mumbled, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Really?" he asked; No, I'm sorry, I was joking; I'm actually feeling absolutely fi-BLERRRRRRGHAGHGHAHGHAHAHAHEHHRGAGHHEGR. Whoops. I'm sorry; turns out I wasn't joking.

So strode towards the bathroom. My heart sank and began to panic as I read the 'Engaged' sign. Mr. Eldridge felt the need to point that out too.

Long story short, I was sick and laid down onto one of the beds. My dad got the message Mr. Eldridge left for him and he picked me up.

Ah, the good part now.

This is how I rode on a motorcycle for the first time; it was both exhilarating, scary and refreshing. It feels like a rollercoaster, but colder. So, so, so much colder; it got to the point where it was painfully cold. My legs were the most exposed to the cold, because it was being warmed only by my cheap, thin pair of tights.

My hands were becoming numb, but my heart was racing. It felt so weird, but a good weird -that's what she said.

Unfortunately though, as I relaxed and became used to it, my stomach cramps returned and decided to kill me a little inside. My eyes began to droop as I started to feel faint again; it was struggle to keep my eyes open, simply from the fear of passing out, and thus, err, dying.

As soon as I got home, I threw down my stuff and raced to the bathroom. And was sick twice. Aw; isn't this the most beautiful blog post you've ever read? Didn't that just brighten your life? I though so too.

So, I sat around all day, watching GG, The Road to El Dorado, and Hannah Montana. Productive, no?

I'm gonna read Full Moon now, goodbye.

XOXO.

PS. God, this is a short post isn't it? Weird.

because ciara says so.

PRE BLOG NOTICE: GO READ ELISABETH'S BLOG BECAUSE SHE'S AWESOME.
Linking is so awkward on blogger I swear. Anyway, boo!

*

On the bus today we somehow got onto the subject on my blog, because we were talking about George's insecurity and how it was more pronounced when he did his speech on Avenged Sevenfold, and stood up in front of the classroom and dissed one of his favourite bands, simply because when he put up the picture, everyone laughed.

Then after my little rant (that was pretty much the above paragraph), I went on to say that I tried to tell him that it really wasn't that bad, and even threw in a little self-deprecatory joke to make him feel better. The reaction I got from him infuriated me; it seemed like, because I wasn't embarrassed at all about what I talked about (Anime EXPO), he seemed to look embarrased for me, pulling a kind of, "yeah-you-really-shouldn't-have-done-that" sympathetic look.

Well, screw it. I got an A+, so he can go fuck himself; his ego's so big he could probably generate another George from it alone.

Now, I'm sure that sounded confusing because I just called him insecure, but that's George. He confuses me. He's clearlt so, so insecure, but then just compliments his cardigan, hat or whatever he has on that day. Apart from his hair, he always moans about its life-less-ness, because he wants other people to tell him it looks fine.

Regardless, Ciara said that she read me complaining about it in my blog, and that I haven't written in it in ages.

Tbh, I didn't even think she had read it that frequently, or at all since I showed it to her the one time and she read all of the October posts. Then I said I wrote a short one this morning and she said, "Oh, another quickie?", which meant that she had read the Halloween one too, which made me smile.

Anyway, this week has been weird.

I'm still pissed with Leah, but I'm only pissed when I'm not with her, most of the time. Now, it's just some of the stuff she says that just ticks me off so, so, sooo much. Like how she'll describe in detail, and by that I mean word for word, her weekend, just because I politely give simple answers like, "I went to Kate's," or, "I went to town with Kate," or "I went to town with Kate and Lauren," etc.

When we have serious talks and she's not putting on a voice though, it's absolutely fine.

When she puts on her baby/retard voice thing, it annoys me, because she lets it live for longer than she should. And her whole little, "Oh-I-can't-help-that-I've-got-a-big-mouth-and-blurt-out-secrets-suddenly" act, because it's total bullshit; it really is.

For example, the other day, when we were talking about how George is always talking to Kate like, "Oh, Kate, I'm your type aren't I? If it weren't me, you'd fancy me wouldn't you? Wouldn't you?" (Another sign of insecurity). Kate later told me that she was talking to her friend, Andy, who is bisexual, and who finds George attractive (which he acts creeped out by, but he totally loves that he can be attractive to both sexes).

Anyway, she told Andy that he's attractive until he opens his mouth.

The day I told that to Leah, we were talking on the bus about the possibility of some really annoying guy we know become attractive, and that if he did, would be date him.

I quoted Kate and said, "He'd be attractive until he'd start talking" Leah waited about 13 seconds to announce that that was what Kate said about George; the words that popped into my mind were: you. retard.

I, very smoothly if I say so myself, calmly explained that she said she'd be attracted to him if it weren't him. I left it at that, and I really, truly believe George would've bought it if Leah hadn't oh-so-unsubtlely smirked mischievously at me. That annoys me about Leah; she likes to cause little chaoses and she likes drama. Sometimes it feels like she wants life to be as glamorous and exciting as an episode of Gossip Girl.

When we got off the bus, then I said bluntly, "You retard." She giggled and said helplessly, "I didn't mean it." And I just could have slapped her because it's all just a bunch of bollocks.

And it's always like this. It was like this when she "accidentally" told Sara that Kate hated her when Kate was only miffed, thus making that a lie, and they were becoming civil again, and Sara looked like she could've cried. It's like this when she has a "fight" with Kiel, which, I'm sorry, are the most pointless things in existence, even more than mosquitoes.

Eurgh.

On a lighter note, I'm sort of watching The Road to El Dorado, from Dreamworks Studios. I adore this film. It's definitely one of my favourite films of all time; it most definitely was back when I was seven, and I realised how much I truly love it now.

It really shows how good animation can be. I mean, some of the sequels to Disney films are just so poorly animated to the point where it's painful, and the dialogue is just a mess. I was watching El Dorado as I ate my dinner, and I still laughed and gushed with pride at its brilliance.

I mean, I think Tulio is handsome and charming and cute, but Miguel is so, so, so KEWWWWWWWWWWWWWT. LIEK AH MA GAWD I LOE HIM!!!11. Like that cute; the one where when you talk about him you stop making sense. So I'd so chose Miguel, and not only because Tulio has the girl.

God Miguel's top is so puffy and majestic.















Look at his cute lil' puffy red shirt. And his smile. And his little banjo, guitar thing. Look at him and fall madly in love with him.

I think I'll write a character for him because him being alone is so sad and he doesn't deserve it.


Majestic picture of Miguel:

















God I love this film so much. It's clearly an underrated classic.

Gonna go now; can't be bothered to type anymore.

XOXO.

bleh.

Lauren: "You have to write about me because I'm standing here and you love me." Done and dusted.

Gah, I'm grounded atm because I shouted at my mother, well, I guess I just raised my voice, which I guess ticks her off. What you gonna do.

Therefore, won't be blogging 'til tomorrow, when I'm un-grounded.

Hm. It's raining today and that makes me restless, tired, and in a bad mood. Maybe that's because I had to listen to George ramble on about shit though, so yeah. He and Leah had the most pointless argument on the bus today; they were arguing whether 'Flood' is a new or old Escape The Fate song. Leah said it was old because it came out ages ago, while George claimed it was new because it was off their latest album. I really didn't give a shit who I could've stabbed first.

I miss blogging.

XOXO.

PS. Shout out to Elisabeth, who is now following me (I really wish that didn't sound so stalkerish every time). I'll link her in later, because school computers are retarded and don't like me. Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

quickie (that's so kinky).

Just a quick blog because I really should be wrapping Kate's birthday present, doing my French homework, but most importantly, doing my German, because that is due in tomorrow.

Oh well, luckily I'm good at German, so that won't take too long. I'll probably end up doing it tomorrow in form.

Today was exhausting. I've been getting little sleep because of the sleepover on Saturday, which wrecked my sleep pattern. So I couldn't sleep properly on Sunday night, so I was just to 'meeeehhh' on Monday. Monday night, I couldn't get to bed for ages either.

Conclusion: I've been feeling rough for about 3 days now.

Reason: Lauren, Sophie and Kate sleeping over on Halloween.

Fortunately for them, it was exceeding hilarity, so I won't kill them. I just reminisced on that night, and I feel like eating ice cream. I specifically bought 4 pots of Ben and Jerry's, and I was the only one that ate any.

Whatever, I went as a gothic Alice, as in, from da wonderland.

Picture time!


Kate's gothic Dorothy on the left, and I'm on the right (your right, not mine in the picture).

So yeah.

Today was kind of a blur though.

I got on the bus today and the attractive guy was running. I started a little daydream where I hold the bus for him and he asks me to go out on a date. He even jokes, "I won't miss the bus, so I won't be late I swear." I'm not clichéd I swear.

But, there was a queue in front of me, so there was no need for holding the bus.

Besides that, my lessons were as they usually were; science was funny, but only because Kate was there; I finished my ICT work, so I had virtually a half hour of free time doing fuck all on the computer; then in History I realised that Mr. Phillips is so, so kewt.

His little role plays make me laugh, and today they were about Joseph Smith, I think it was, the supposed prophet that founded Mormon-ism? Anyway, it was entertaining.

Then we went on to talk about Brigham Young, the other guy who later became a leader because Smith had his bucket kicked by a mob (ooh, kinky? actually, that's gang rape. rape is not kinky). Turns out the dude had like, 55 wives.

As we all stared at the picture on the whiteboard in disbelief, he suggested that it was the 'long beard'. Somehow I don't believe it's the longness of his beard that made him popular wit da laydes, I was about to say. But I don't think Becca, who was sitting next to me, would have found it funny.

I think I had Maths next and then RE, which were ok I guess, but they always are.

My life is just an explosion of adequacy, which sucks; it should be spontaneous and quirky and exciting. Like sex with Kate.

And now I need to wrap and shit, so I'm gonna stop because otherwise I'm gonna get even shittier sleep than I have been getting this past few days. And that's great, no?

Tallyho.

anime expo!

I took a hiatus from blogging for all of four days, which I think is the record since I started writing frequently in my blog. I think it's 'cos I meant to be writing about EXPO -which ROCKED; it was everything I wanted and so much, much more-, but then I just thought of all the things that happened, and the thought of it all just made me feel exhausted and I put the thought of blogging away in a drawer. A drawer I just recently opened. Simply because of guilt.

So here I am. I'm considering maybe splitting this into two blog posts, so I'm just gonna write this spur of the moment thing and see what I think once I've finished.

Ok, so EXPO.

I couldn't get to sleep 'til 11:15, because I decided that I really wasn't happy with my Haruhi ribbons and that they needed adjustments. Because my mum was stressed out about making my brothers and tweaking mine already, I said I would do it and left her to bask in her worries.

However, because I'm retarded, it took me from about eight, nine o'clock 'til 11:15 to finish it. Mainly because it was so fucking awkward and I managed to bend the needle whilst doing it.

When I was both tired and bored of doing it, I allowed myself to change into my pajama bottoms and went to brush my teeth. I immediately cursed myself for not doing that sooner.

See, there were two problems with that:

- I take ages to brush my teeth now, because of my mother, whose jaw needed surgery, and for said surgery, braces were needed; she was the one whom I had inherited this oral problem from, so I blame her. But I still love her really. So yeah, braces = fifteen minutes more in the bathroom from my original ten.

- Main problem: I'm always, and I always have too, been woken up by brushing my teeth. Seriously, I could be the most exhausted I've ever been, but all it takes is for me to brush my teeth, and I'm wide awake; it's the equivalent of taking about 17 consecutive expressos.

Therefore, I couldn't get to sleep for about another hour or so, and it didn't help that I was panicking about whether EXPO wouldn't:

- Live up to expectations.
- Be enjoyable for Kate or Jacob.
- Be enjoyable for Artur because I kept leaving him out subconciously.
- That I would look like utter shit and that my ribbons would look like crap and I only thought they looked good because of sheer tired-ness.
- That I fucked up my costume by drawing the stupid school logo that I suddenly decided would not complete the outfit.
- That because of the two previous reasons no-one would want to take my picture.

I know that the last reason will make me sound really vain and up myself, but lemme explain. See, I'm not, and I've been told this before, unnattractive, but, this I wasn't told though, but I'm plain. I mean, when Ben said it, I'm sure he meant in his eyes, but I take things the wrong way sometimes, and I know I'm not an interesting looking person in a good way, or in a bad way for that matter. I'm just nothing special-ish.

But at EXPO, I'm suddenly 'cute' and people like me and guys smile at me when we connect our gazes. At least, that's what happened last time. I dunno if it was the cosplay, but I did notice I wasn't the worst looking person there. I wasn't the best looking either, but I must admit I was one of the pretty girls there.

It's a real self-esteem boost to have nineteen year old guys wanting my picture, because I'm laughing incredulously inside, saying, "Dude, I'm fourteen. I couldn't do you if I wanted to."; at EXPO I'm glad I look older.

Oh God, I sound like a total slut, but I hope you guys know what I mean.

Regardless, I did finally manage to drift off, but when I woke up I was so tired I had to drag myself out of bed. To EXPO. That's how tired I was.

So after waffling around for a bit, Kate and Jacob arrived while I was tying my shoes. I opened the door and squealed at the brilliance of Kate's cosplay. I mean, she looked adorable. So freakin' cuuuute. But really pretty too, obviously, but then again, she always does, no matter what she says.

Jacob was boring. Didn't cosplay. Baka onii-chan.

Then I set eyes on my actual brother. HE WAS THE CUTEST THING I HAD EVER SEEN IN DA FOURTEEN YEARZ OF MA AWESUM LYF MOTHAFERKERZ. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I reminded him every minute of the car ride.

So we got in, and talked and babbled about how fantastic it was going to be. It really was just pure casual, non-important chit-chat that I was certain I would not remember in a few hours or so.

Then we got to London and the butterflies decided to not simply flutter in my stomach, but to slam and thrash violently against the walls of it. Great. It felt as if I hadn't realised just how awkward this was going to be.

So I ran out of the car, and by that I mean stumbled, and forcefully hugged Artur with a fake excited smile, and my insides churning.

We sat back into the car and the fun of awkward silences took over and greedily filled the air of the car, making the atmosphere of the car thick, unfriendly and uncomfortable. Isn't that just glorious?

Well, moving on.

The first sign that the day wasn't going to be so bad was when two excited twelve year olds called out, "Ah, Haruhi cosplay!!!11" and giggled whilst skipping over to the entrance. I sighed in relief and followed their initiative and linked arms with Kate, and we skipped over.

We queued up and the lack of in-common-ness decided to squeeze in between the five us once again. Yay for awkwardnees! Tis so fun, no?

But we soon huddled inside and the silence was not so noticeable. I mean, I was fine with Jacob, Kate and hell even Calvin, I just didn't like the idea of having to juggle him and the rest of my friends like I had to on Calvin's birthday party that one time.

Anyway, Artur was occupied by browsing at all the merchandise and I was occupied by looking out for attractive-ness.
Whilst in the marketplace, I bought a Edward Elric keychain and a Soul Eater poster, though the poster was bought when we were in it the second time.

I think perhaps people asked to take my picture the first time we were in, but I can't be sure. This time
so many more people asked to take my photo; it was brilliant.

There was.. hm, the most memorable were the guy by the stall, the guys that asked me to do a pose, the guy behind the stall, there were like three outside later and a few more I think. I lost count, and that's just amazing.

Memorable people I took pictures with: the attractive Link guy who I decided I would soooooooooooooooooooooooooo not say no to, Josh, Jason, the guy that cosplayed as a giant Death Note, the attractive Cloud from Final Fantasy, the Joker and Jack Sparrow.

Seriously though, the Link guy was like, 'Gah so so so so so pretty.'. I took a picture with him and he huskily replied, "No problem." SERIOUSLY. MY HEART STOPPED BEATING GAH <33333333333333333333333333. Lol, I wish he's there in May.

Josh and Jason were the ones me and Kate ran into the most throughout the day. At some point we went inside and they crept up behind us to give us surprise hugs, but then we turned around. Kate said, "You could still give us one if you want.", but Jason said that it wouldn't have the same effect.

Except that Josh gave me one anyway, which made my heart race and Kate whispered to me that my face had gone red.

I saw both them and the Death Note guy when we were having lunch, and the DNG was running past. I yelled, "Excuse me, can I-" but was cut short by him saying something about needing to be somewhere. He followed that by saying, "Come with me.", which made my stomach tighten, but I said no.

The Joker we found as we were going to buy food, and I smiled at him as we walked past, and he raised his eyebrows playfully. I was vaguely intimidated, because I wasn't sure if it was friendly or what. So I had to pluck up the nerve to ask to take his picture and he nodded and got up.

He was so Heath Ledger-like it was surreal. After Jacob took it, he, in a very Heath Ledger voice, said, "Have a card." I blinked and quickly said, "Kay." But then Kate's a bitch and took it.

He saw the picture of him on my dA though, on commented saying 'well done' and that he thought we were cute. And that made my day. <333.

And finally, Jack Sparrow touched my ass. Twice. Me and Kate took a picture with him, and I got the guts to ask him for a hug. As we did, he gently placed it there, and then lifted it up, only to put it back there but on a, er, lower spot. I shuffled off, wondering what I should think of it as.

I decided: flattering. And impressive. a) I'm fourteen, and the fact that a guy older than me thought it was attractive is just, agh, and b) it was a very Jack Sparrow thing to do, no?

Fair enough, I could have him arrested for harassment of those underage, but I think it was all just in the spirit of EXPO. Besides, it may or may not still have an accident, though I highly doubt that.

Then it darkened and we began to make our outside. On the way, we joined our second Caramelldansen line. And we were the first to join too, and about five more joined after us. That's when the Cloud guy videoed us. And as he walked along, filming each and every one of the 'dancers', I made the piece sign when it came to me, and our gazes connected; it was magical, XD.

What was cool was that he was with friends, and that one of the tried to join, but the other claimed that they needed to go. But he stopped to film anyway. That means he's awesome.

Eventually, we got outside and we did the Hare Hare Yukai for the second time and frolicked around and just were plain happy; what I love about EXPO is that if I did that in Brighton, people would've thought I was high, whereas at EXPO, people thought it was cute and took pictures.

Josh and Jason sat with us and laughed as we jumped down all the steps, in a kind of, "Ah they're kind of charming with their immaturity. It's vaguely cute." way.

We just talked to more people as we waited for my family to come pick us up, even after Josh and Jason returned, siad their goodbyes, and asked if we were gonna go in May. And that made realise that I not only wanted to to, but needed to go.

If you'd like picture, they're here: http://melinu.deviantart.com/gallery/. And now we've (me and Kate) a youtube account: http://www.youtube.com/user/catearsandribbons.

Gonna go now, because my fingers hurt.

XOXO.

i do not care at all for the rain.

Therefore, did not care much for today; that's a lie. I am happy with what I did today and think it was rather productive.

I'm currently listening to Aly & AJ and eating dark chocolate. I really forgot how catchy their songs are, and how much I secretly indulge in their music that was never really good enough to reach the UK's charts, I think.

But let's start from the beginning of today.

I woke up and lazily thanked God, should he exist, that I no longer had to summon up all my energy and drag myself out of bed at around 6-6:30 every morning, for at least a week. I wanted to get up, for some odd reason, but insisted on making the most of my lie-in. So I laid in until it was around eight to nine o'clock. That's constructive. *

*The 'constructive' is silent.*

Actually, it was about twenty to nine, because as I finished brushing my teeth, which I take so much longer to do now due to the stupid metallic inconvenience on my teeth.

So I skipped down my stairs and walked into the kitchen, already wondering what I could have for breakfast. And by that I really do mean could, because what I really wanted was cereal, but I'm not masochistic, so I just had a fruit smoothie instead.

My mum then warned me that she intended to leave at around nine. I groaned; I had to get ready in twenty minutes. Isn't that just fantastic? Luckily, she added, "..ish.".

That meant around quarter to ten.

So I had my smoothie, and threw on a long sleeve purple top, my dark blue skinny jeans and my light grey cardie. My dad then looked me up and down, said nothing except: "It's gonna rain. Jus' sayin'."

Except he said it in portuguese, which is: "Vai chover, so to te avisando." Aren't I cool?

So I grudgingly put on my school shoes, which are water proof-ish, and my big, bulky green coat that I hate, hate, hate; it makes my broad shoulders look... broader? Eurgh.

What I hate more is when my dad is right, which is all the time. And even when he's wrong, he's right on some level, if that makes any sense.

So me and my mum went in from shop to shop, looking for a coat for me and some pieces of clothing that I enjoyed.

We stopped in New Look, H&M and Primark, because I love those shops and because I just wanted to do some quick shopping, and because I knew I could afford at least something in there. There was this really nice coat in New Look, and it reminded me of something Blair would wear in GG, and that meant I had to have it.

Then my mum mentioned that she would expect me to wear it everywhere, not just to school, so I decided to go for a more neutral colour than red. I decided to I liked it in black too, but that I'd want to look around first.

Nothing in H&M, but I was weighing on buying some gloves, which I really do need. I wish I bought some now. Dayum.

So we moved onto Primark, as we usually do; I swear I could not live without Primark. I swear to you. I'd say about 99% of my clothes that my mum hasn't got from my auntie, or her friends, or from random car boot sales, are from Primark; I'm a cheapskate.

We spent hours in there, and I was just throwing random tops into the basket, all about one or two sizes bigger, because, frustratingly, the clothes from Primark always shrink.

I found a really nice jacket, but some lady was trying it on; she bought it in the end as well, which was upsetting, because I would have enjoyed that coat more than she would. Keh.

I got about 4-5 tops I think, a pair of tights, a sweater vest and a black hoodie/cardie. I'msohappy. Really I am.

We also went from charity shop to charity shop, because we still hadn't found some black short for my brother's cosplay. And I still need to get the noodle sauce off of my Haruhi top. I'm gonna look like such a slut in my skirt; despite what my mother says, I think I've grown too much and it's shorter. Fantastic?

I mean, I'm hoping on finding a boyf at EXPO, but I don't want to get one just because I look like a 'good time'. My tummy's turning just at the thought of tomorrow; I've a good feeling about it. I've waited for this for so long. Gahhhh.

Seriously, all of my friends, with the exception of Lauren, have, or have had, a serious-ish (how serious can relationships be at our ages, really?) boyf, and I still haven't; that upsets me. I'm fine during the day, but when I'm laying awake at night, and I can't sleep, I imagine the near, hopefully, future where I'm a park, on the grass, laying down, with, who now looks like, Quantum, and we're talking, and I'm telling him all of my deepest worries and fears; I tell him I was so scared that I was never gonna be special enough for anyone to ever want me; I tell him that I know I'm not the most dull person in the world, but that my looks are so plain, that no-one will ever want to get to know me well enough to realise I'm not that normal; I tell him I'm so glad and feel so lucky that I have him, and that I'll never need anyone else, ever.

Then I hear the bathroom light switch on, or a door softly close, and I'll snap out of my daydream, and realise I don't have anyone after all. Then I bitterly laugh at my stupidity; why would Quantum ever want me? Seeing as he's most likely 19, and, with his looks, could have anyone he wants? And besides, what are the possibilities of us ever meeting again?

So I grab my bag and reach into to get my ipod, and then I have my next daydream, and this one is a more ridiculous one. This is the daydream that I never really want anyone to know about, except for Lauren and Kate, and Ciara if she ever reads this.

Ok, so, me and Kate once came to the conclusion that Q (Quantum) can sing and play acoustic guitar, because we can. So I daydream that I have a birthday party in a club (psh, leave me alone; daydreams aren't supposed to be realistic), and that there's a stage; Lauren, you've seen Angus, so it's like that.

Then, because Kate loves me, she found Q somehow, and got him to surprise me at my party. So, as I'm chatting away, a spotlight goes on stage. The room grows quiet, and we all face it.

And a male voice begins to sing the introducing line of Birthday by Quietdrive.

I'm falling into words I never knew,

Then, just like that, strolls onto the stage, Q, strumming a guitar, his eyes gliding over the room. When they meet mine, he locks it there and carries on with the song.

I never meant to say the words, "I love you"

The rest of the band run on stage and the room cheers and begins to scream and jump up and down.

But it's in my heart and it feels new
Is it true for you, is it true for you?

Of course you'd like to play that we'd be friends,
It couldn't stay that way 'cause we'd pretend,
But then I heard about your new boyfriend
Where did I go wrong, where did I go wrong?

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday,
I'm sorry 'cause I'm a shit face
I thought it was on a Wednesday,
A Monday or a Tuesday,
It's all the same to me
So what will make you happy?
Tell me 'cause I'm sorry
These colors that we find
Look all the same to me

I know that you've been hurt but in the end,
I'd like to say it's worth all the things that we did
But now you've found me out, my inside's dead
What I have done wrong, what I have done wrong?

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday,
I'm sorry 'cause I'm a shit face
I thought it was on a Wednesday,
A Monday or a Tuesday,
It's all the same to me
So what will make you happy?
Tell me 'cause I'm sorry
These colors that we find
Look all the same to me

I couldn't take those things away from you
I've made mistakes, but so have you
We could have made it work but we lost
When you left and you didn't have to,
You didn't have to, didn't have to

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday,
I thought it was on a Wednesday
What did all your friends say?
They're all the same to me
So what would make you happy?
Tell me 'cause I'm sorry
These days, they go by
Feel all the same to me
Feel all the same to me

Then I found myself being pushed onto the stage and he takes my hands and smiles, continuing to sing the song.

Feel all the same to me
Feel all the same to me
Feel all the same to me

And that's how far I get. Occasionally though, I listen to cute songs on my ipod, sung by guys, and add it to the Q concert. Because I can.

Gonna go find out what I'm gonna do about adjusting my costume now, Tata.

XOXO.

what should i call this post?

Indeed.

HEY!11. How is everyone? And by that I mean those who actually bother to read my blog, because they are simply too nice for words. Really. I love all of you that actually bother.

I have already gotten quite used to my braces; is that normal? I am simply just being naïve and it's about to take a turn for the worse? And that is a genuine question. I would like people's support if you don't mind.

I could barely eat my lunch today, and had to pick at it so that it was in tiny, non-chewable pieces that would need, er, no chewing. Or would not get any bits of food in them. That would just be more unattractive than my face. And that would just be a leetle too cruel for da rest of da world. Do you like my 'gangsta' lingo? I iz so cool.

I really don't know what to blog about. Isn't that fun.

Kobato is cute. Kewt. KEEEEEEEEEEEWT. Like a newt. See what I did there? Rhyming is so much fun. Ahaha.

The bus ride was extremely fun today. I thought about how I would look back on my bus rides as one of the best times of my life. That and the conversation me, Lauren, Kate and Sophie had on that one cold day where it was sos funny I didn't wanna go home. I just thought that I'm glad I know people like them and that I get the bus that I do, because it means I'll have something to look back upon, should my life be miserable, when I'm older.

Gah I'm watching the NC's review of Casper, and he just got onto the part where he was making fun of Casper when he was telling the girl, Kat/Cat, how he died. And I cried. I really should be moved emotionally less. Gah.

I had English today. To be honest, everyone else getting A and A*'s is making me feel so much less special. But at least he hasn't told anyone they could be an author. That is the only thing that makes me feel a leetle chuffed. I think, or hope, that it's because I not only can do the techniques, but that they flow? If you know what I mean.

I mean, me and Kate discussed this, and I think Emily is the opposite. I think she just uses them mechanically, and the actual content and plot is not that good. I mean, she thinks the HON (House of Night) books are good. And she thought George's was good, though that may only be because she's biased.

But seriously, George's story was just so pointless. I mean, it was just him.He has such an uncreative and bland mind that he actually needed to give his character the same style, personality, interests and name as him. That's just pathetic. I mean, sure, Harriet, my character for my Peter Pan ff, which I also used for my original story, is based on me, but once I get into the story, she'll be different.

I think that she's mature, but only because she felt the need to, because her mother died, and she felt like she had to take over her place. And she'll just come out of her shell and let loose when she arrives in Neverland. I guess that's similar to Jane, but I'll make her different somehow.

Also that he used Emily in his story. That's just eurgh. Seriously. It's fine to give in as a present to her, but eurgh, I dunno. I had a problem with it.

And the end; wtf?! It said, and I quote:

" 'Do you love me?' she whispered.
'Of course I do.' I replied.
'Then let me go.'"

Therefore, I assumed that the girl he talked to and hanged out with was dead, or simply a mirage of someone he had left behind as he moved to Brighton (isn't that just sad? His character moved to where he lives in this moment in time. Be a tad more fucking creative for fuck's sake if you didn't want a B). It couldn't be someone he just met, because the amount of consecutive time they spent together was about 3 hours, and that's if I'm being nice, henceforth, they couldn't be in love.

So I asked him, and he said, "No. She never existed."

So, er, how could he be in love with her? I hate to be the one to call bullshit, but yeah. I guess that's his actual situation with Emily though; it's bs that he loves her too. It's just a relationship for the sake of it. He doesn't need her. If she wasn't with him, he would not feel any void in his life whatsoever. And I am not sorry.

I talked to Leah about it, and she agreed that the story really wasn't that good at all. He got a B because Sir, and he -Sir that is- even said it himself, gave him the benefit of the doubt.

I thought Leah's was pretty good, but, then again, she could always refer to Twilight or Midnight Sun for hers, since it's just the Twilight biology lab scene where Bella and Edward first see each other, and I even recognised some phrases and stuff in her text from them. I love Leah, but her vocabulary is pretty limited (because she rarely reads, and when she does, it's something famous; I know for a fact she hardly ever goes into a library and picks out a random book that looks interesting, or a book that she hasn't heard of or one someone didn't recommended to her), so I know she definitely did not write that all by herself.

Her ideas are good, but I don't think she can translate them into words well enough for it to do her ideas justice.

Both George and Leah really don't strike me as writing people.

Then again, seeing as they never practise, they're ok I guess. I mean, I fucking write my ass off, and that's how I got my A*. I pay attention to how authors write and etc, so I can always keep learning and improving; writing is my life.

Sir asked me once if I wrote in my spare time, and I replied, "Probably more than I should, yeah."

I really do believe it's unhealthy how often I write.

So I'm going to stop now, because my fingers hurt. And I believe I'll have to go have dinner soon anyway.

Tallyho.

confusing films, grey days and braces.

Wow I have a lot (alot?) to blog about.

Ok, let's start with the weekend. Kate came round, but previously we went to town. We ran into Lauren and Sophie as we left the Starbucks in Border's, and walked around with them for the day. They seemed to have a purpose for being in town, whereas, we, did not, so we didn't mind. It did frustrate me so, however, that the one thing I wished to purchase were my white, knee-height socks for my Alice look, and they were not in Primark. Angst -love you Kate.

Listening to the new HeyKelsey cover. New Shoes. She looks very, and unfairly, pretty.

To add my my angstness, they did not have a rabbit for my necklace. Eurgh, life clearly has a distaste for me.

Me and Kate went to the Japanese shop to browse and not buy, but I swear we will one day, because the lady in there is just so lovely. She's going to Anime EXPO too. I love how she called it 'Expo'. Seems too hardcore for me though.

Anyway, we eventually did go meet Lauren and Sophie in the Pavillion Gardens, because 'tis tradition to go there now. As we did there were some random chavs from our school that were wannabe 'popular crowd' peeps. They kept calling me Leah. I didn't turn around, even though they were calling me, because I believe that is not my name.

I haven't laughed in so long. I do adore Sophie, she's just naturally funny. I love her stories about her house though; they are the best. Besides, her laughter is majorly contagious, and then so is Lauren's. Put them together and my sides just hurt from laughing too much.

I was aware that it was getting late, but I really didn't wanna go home. So it was dark by the time me and Kate were at the bus stop.

We got home, and went straight upstairs and bitched. And laughed about our three favourite people: Sean, Alex Lines, and James. And a leetle bit about Matt Garnes, because he is also amusing.

Ah, we now have Sean voices. We usually don't realise until the other says at the end: "... 'Cos we're all Sean here." Or something along the lines of said sentence.

After dinner, we carried on, but we eventually moved onto being downstairs. There we watched The Pursuit of Happiness, and I realised I was alive because I needed to meet Jaden Smith -Will Smith's son, because he is the epitome of adorable. Usually, actors that are so young and so cute just get away with being ok, if not bad, actors. But I believe his performance was natural and acceptable. And more than that; it was adorable.

Then I read some manga on the PC in between bitching and eating vanilla ice cream, straight from the pot.

The next day we went to the park and bitched, and then we went to the cinema.

Ok, so... The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnasuss. Or something or rather.

It was not as good as I expected it to be. If I were a critic, I would give it three stars, simply because it was so good to see Heath Ledger again. Despite his British accent slowly slipping into his natural Australian one. Also, because of the smooth, slick Devil, whose accent was appealing.

In addition, Johnny Depp ftw. Jude Law and Colin Farell are cute too, but they have nothing on Depp. Besides, let's face it, Jack Sparrow is sexy, and now I always notice traits of Jack Sparrow in other Johnny Depp's acting jobs. Therefore, a leetle bit of Sparrow was in this film.

Regardless, it was intricate and confusing and I felt like I was watching a sequel to an obscure film I had not watched previously. I mean, I know reading in between the lines is not my forte, but I know I am not that bad. It felt like it was one of those films I would 'understand when I was older', but I don't think it will make any more sense in the years to come.

I really don't wanna get into it right now, so I won't. Google it, wikipedia it, whatever.

Ok, about the now. I now have braces. Isn't that fun? Taste the sarcasm -really Kate, I love you so much.

They are scratching against the inside of my upper lip and bottom lip. I can taste the blood. They don't look too bad I don't think. I could look worse I guess. I mean, I'm already unattractive, and I guess nothing can contribute to that any more.

But I'm gonna be a Haruhi with braces, and that makes me want to bawl. I mean, it's just so not Haruhi. And now I have a limit to the stuff I put in my mouth (ooh, kinky, no?). No chewing gum and sticky things (ooh, kinkier, no?). That means no caramel. I shall miss my Rolos. I should have eaten them when I had the chance *sob*.

I'm a little bit bored of writing now, because I've vented all my internal frustrations (and sexual ones? ohh. i'msokinky).

Byebye.

this post will include german.

It's true foo. It shall. This is because I was just writing my German speech and thought if any German people should come across my blog, they could maybe comment on how shit it is? Or possibly how good? Hopefully it's not that shit, because my GCSEs depend on it.

But before, I'm going to blog about all the stuff I thought to blog about but, annoyingly, can't remember at the moment. Eurgh. Gonna try my best so here goes.

The highlight of my day usually is my English lesson, should I have one that day. Today I did. And it was fourth lesson/period. I'm guessing the few that read my blog, except for Lauren and Kate, are American, so I'll say period.

The last three people did their speeches today: Michaela, Charlie and Kris. Not really in that order though. So, there were okay I guess, nothing too entertaining. I did like Michaela's because she talked about Florence and the Machine and she had Esme and Claudia play some sample of their music and I liked it; twas different. Good different, not the one where people just say it instead of saying 'it's shit'.

Regardless, as he walked around talking to people about their Original Writing, I plucked up the courage to ask him if it was too late to attempt to get an A* for my story, seeing as my draft got me and A and that was what I assumed I got overall. Then he smiled and said that he had already given me an A* for it.

I was shaking with both relief and sheer... proudness? I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but I was just plain elated to have got that. To top it all off, he told me I "could be an author". :OOOOO! To be an author is my absolute dream, and to have an ENGLISH teacher tell me that dream is actually achievable is just possibly, not only the highlight of my day but, the highlight of my life.

I also had French, Science, and R.E. And German.

I love my lessons this year, but today nothing really stood up apart from English. So now I'm gonna paste my German in:

"Hallo! Ich heisse Melanie und ich bin 14 jahre alt. In meine Freizeit, ich lese gern, ich sehe gern fern, ich gehe gern ins Kino und ich höre gern Musik.

Ich lese besonders oft, weil es unterhaltsamer als fernsehen für mich ist, aber, ich lese geowöhnlich wenn es regnet. Meine lieblingsbuche sind Fantasybuche und Liebesromane. Meine lieblingsbuch ist Twilight, weil es immer total romantisch, oft ziemlich lustig, nie extrem langweilig, und echt gut geschreiben ist.. In der Zukunft, ich wurde The Shining lesen, jedoch, es ist absolut zu schaurif für mich.

Ich gehe gern ins Kino, weil ich Filme sehen liebe. Ich mag Actionfilme, weil sie normaleweise wirklich spannend und sehr ausgezeichnet sind. Aber, Romantisch geschicte gefällt mir weil ich romantisch bin. Ausserdem, ich hässe Horrorfilme, weil sie am gruseligsten sind. Nache wonchenende, werde ich mit meine Freudine Olivia, Kate und Leah ins Kino fahren, um The Soloist zu sehen. Es werde spitze bist.

Musik ist wichtig für mich. Ich interessiere mich für rockmusik, popmusik und poprock musik, aber popmusik sind schlecter als rock und poprockmusik weil sie so rhytmisch und extrem dynamisch sind. Meine lieblingsband ist die Beatles und meine lieblingslied ist Hey Jude, weil die texte nostalgisch für mich ist. Auch, ich finde Hey Jude wirklisch melodisch.

Gestern, es war regnet, also, bin ich gefaulenzt und habe ich Friends gesehen. Friends ist mein lieblingssendung, weil es, im Allgemein, ganz kormisch und so warmherzig ist. Jedoch, ich hässe krimis, weil sie relativ schrecklich und gewönlich gruselig und furchtbar sind.

Ich verbringe zu viel zeit am Computer. Am Computer, ich spiele Computerspiele, ich surfe im Internet, ich hunterladen Musick, ich schreibe e-mails und ich schreibe in meine blog. Ich finde schreiben sehr wichtig weil es am bessesten für mich ist."

Ah, I'm bored now. I"ll blog about more stuff tomorrow.