i do not care at all for the rain.

Therefore, did not care much for today; that's a lie. I am happy with what I did today and think it was rather productive.

I'm currently listening to Aly & AJ and eating dark chocolate. I really forgot how catchy their songs are, and how much I secretly indulge in their music that was never really good enough to reach the UK's charts, I think.

But let's start from the beginning of today.

I woke up and lazily thanked God, should he exist, that I no longer had to summon up all my energy and drag myself out of bed at around 6-6:30 every morning, for at least a week. I wanted to get up, for some odd reason, but insisted on making the most of my lie-in. So I laid in until it was around eight to nine o'clock. That's constructive. *

*The 'constructive' is silent.*

Actually, it was about twenty to nine, because as I finished brushing my teeth, which I take so much longer to do now due to the stupid metallic inconvenience on my teeth.

So I skipped down my stairs and walked into the kitchen, already wondering what I could have for breakfast. And by that I really do mean could, because what I really wanted was cereal, but I'm not masochistic, so I just had a fruit smoothie instead.

My mum then warned me that she intended to leave at around nine. I groaned; I had to get ready in twenty minutes. Isn't that just fantastic? Luckily, she added, "..ish.".

That meant around quarter to ten.

So I had my smoothie, and threw on a long sleeve purple top, my dark blue skinny jeans and my light grey cardie. My dad then looked me up and down, said nothing except: "It's gonna rain. Jus' sayin'."

Except he said it in portuguese, which is: "Vai chover, so to te avisando." Aren't I cool?

So I grudgingly put on my school shoes, which are water proof-ish, and my big, bulky green coat that I hate, hate, hate; it makes my broad shoulders look... broader? Eurgh.

What I hate more is when my dad is right, which is all the time. And even when he's wrong, he's right on some level, if that makes any sense.

So me and my mum went in from shop to shop, looking for a coat for me and some pieces of clothing that I enjoyed.

We stopped in New Look, H&M and Primark, because I love those shops and because I just wanted to do some quick shopping, and because I knew I could afford at least something in there. There was this really nice coat in New Look, and it reminded me of something Blair would wear in GG, and that meant I had to have it.

Then my mum mentioned that she would expect me to wear it everywhere, not just to school, so I decided to go for a more neutral colour than red. I decided to I liked it in black too, but that I'd want to look around first.

Nothing in H&M, but I was weighing on buying some gloves, which I really do need. I wish I bought some now. Dayum.

So we moved onto Primark, as we usually do; I swear I could not live without Primark. I swear to you. I'd say about 99% of my clothes that my mum hasn't got from my auntie, or her friends, or from random car boot sales, are from Primark; I'm a cheapskate.

We spent hours in there, and I was just throwing random tops into the basket, all about one or two sizes bigger, because, frustratingly, the clothes from Primark always shrink.

I found a really nice jacket, but some lady was trying it on; she bought it in the end as well, which was upsetting, because I would have enjoyed that coat more than she would. Keh.

I got about 4-5 tops I think, a pair of tights, a sweater vest and a black hoodie/cardie. I'msohappy. Really I am.

We also went from charity shop to charity shop, because we still hadn't found some black short for my brother's cosplay. And I still need to get the noodle sauce off of my Haruhi top. I'm gonna look like such a slut in my skirt; despite what my mother says, I think I've grown too much and it's shorter. Fantastic?

I mean, I'm hoping on finding a boyf at EXPO, but I don't want to get one just because I look like a 'good time'. My tummy's turning just at the thought of tomorrow; I've a good feeling about it. I've waited for this for so long. Gahhhh.

Seriously, all of my friends, with the exception of Lauren, have, or have had, a serious-ish (how serious can relationships be at our ages, really?) boyf, and I still haven't; that upsets me. I'm fine during the day, but when I'm laying awake at night, and I can't sleep, I imagine the near, hopefully, future where I'm a park, on the grass, laying down, with, who now looks like, Quantum, and we're talking, and I'm telling him all of my deepest worries and fears; I tell him I was so scared that I was never gonna be special enough for anyone to ever want me; I tell him that I know I'm not the most dull person in the world, but that my looks are so plain, that no-one will ever want to get to know me well enough to realise I'm not that normal; I tell him I'm so glad and feel so lucky that I have him, and that I'll never need anyone else, ever.

Then I hear the bathroom light switch on, or a door softly close, and I'll snap out of my daydream, and realise I don't have anyone after all. Then I bitterly laugh at my stupidity; why would Quantum ever want me? Seeing as he's most likely 19, and, with his looks, could have anyone he wants? And besides, what are the possibilities of us ever meeting again?

So I grab my bag and reach into to get my ipod, and then I have my next daydream, and this one is a more ridiculous one. This is the daydream that I never really want anyone to know about, except for Lauren and Kate, and Ciara if she ever reads this.

Ok, so, me and Kate once came to the conclusion that Q (Quantum) can sing and play acoustic guitar, because we can. So I daydream that I have a birthday party in a club (psh, leave me alone; daydreams aren't supposed to be realistic), and that there's a stage; Lauren, you've seen Angus, so it's like that.

Then, because Kate loves me, she found Q somehow, and got him to surprise me at my party. So, as I'm chatting away, a spotlight goes on stage. The room grows quiet, and we all face it.

And a male voice begins to sing the introducing line of Birthday by Quietdrive.

I'm falling into words I never knew,

Then, just like that, strolls onto the stage, Q, strumming a guitar, his eyes gliding over the room. When they meet mine, he locks it there and carries on with the song.

I never meant to say the words, "I love you"

The rest of the band run on stage and the room cheers and begins to scream and jump up and down.

But it's in my heart and it feels new
Is it true for you, is it true for you?

Of course you'd like to play that we'd be friends,
It couldn't stay that way 'cause we'd pretend,
But then I heard about your new boyfriend
Where did I go wrong, where did I go wrong?

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday,
I'm sorry 'cause I'm a shit face
I thought it was on a Wednesday,
A Monday or a Tuesday,
It's all the same to me
So what will make you happy?
Tell me 'cause I'm sorry
These colors that we find
Look all the same to me

I know that you've been hurt but in the end,
I'd like to say it's worth all the things that we did
But now you've found me out, my inside's dead
What I have done wrong, what I have done wrong?

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday,
I'm sorry 'cause I'm a shit face
I thought it was on a Wednesday,
A Monday or a Tuesday,
It's all the same to me
So what will make you happy?
Tell me 'cause I'm sorry
These colors that we find
Look all the same to me

I couldn't take those things away from you
I've made mistakes, but so have you
We could have made it work but we lost
When you left and you didn't have to,
You didn't have to, didn't have to

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday,
I thought it was on a Wednesday
What did all your friends say?
They're all the same to me
So what would make you happy?
Tell me 'cause I'm sorry
These days, they go by
Feel all the same to me
Feel all the same to me

Then I found myself being pushed onto the stage and he takes my hands and smiles, continuing to sing the song.

Feel all the same to me
Feel all the same to me
Feel all the same to me

And that's how far I get. Occasionally though, I listen to cute songs on my ipod, sung by guys, and add it to the Q concert. Because I can.

Gonna go find out what I'm gonna do about adjusting my costume now, Tata.

XOXO.