Today I was meant to babysit Flynn again, but he was walking by the pond with his mum and hit his head, so he was taken to A&E and has to be under supervision, and so I don't have to babysit him anymore. I got paid still -- score! -- and got given an Easter egg from him (not his mum, from Flynn himself). So that was nice and convenient and I've got twenty pounds (well, seventeen because I bought shampoo on the way back). for doing nothing. For, essentially, reading outside a house for forty minutes.
I am officially by myself now. Yesterday as my parents were leaving I started crying. I felt like a baby, because I complain all the time about them all the time but as I've said, I'm attached to them. When they're not here. I was hiccuping, I was crying that much. I watched the car drive away and I was wailing. Like, really almost screaming. And then as I was brushing my teeth, it suddenly just calmed down. I was a bit teary but overall I was okay.
I was mostly scared about this vulnerability I was put it; let's say I burnt myself cooking, or ran out of money, or needed a lift somewhere. What scares me is that I'm suddenly independent. I am going to live on the babysitting money and the £20 that my mum gave me beforehand and that's it. It's weird because I'm essentially living by myself and that's weird.
Yeah. That's about it.
Love,
Mel.
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