IIII CAN'T COME OUT TODAY, I'M SICK.

The song is 'Sick' by Lex Croucher and it should be longer than the one minute something it is. What am I even. I'm ill and it sucks because it doesn't feel that much worse than a cold, except it does? I dunno. Symptoms of a cold multiplied about seventy-eight fold. Need. More. Tea.

But anyway, HEY BLOG. Goodness it *has* been a long time hasn't it? I do apologise a little bit for that, but not a lot because my life's been pretty... meh. As it should be. Because I do nothing to make it more exciting.

Erm, I read fifty books! That's cool, huh? Actually on my fifty-first book. It is called 'Looking for Alaska' by someone you know. Book #50 was Mockingjay which I have to admit did no really like; I felt kind of like a fake because I loved The Hunger Games series but... not as much as a lot of people seem to. I liked the change and mix of violence, romance, drama and adolescence; it was good because it wasn't entirely happy but mostly sad. Like DH. There was a war, and casualties happen, even if they shouldn't have had to. I honestly missed a lot of stuff because I was reading fast because I wanted it to end so I could know what happened. Also, I wanted to read fifty books. So I did. Mockingjay deserves a B+, but that's all.

Ahhhhh and I saw Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and it's now my favourite film. I indulged entirely in its nerdiness and fondness of videogames, comic books, etc etc. It was all so cute and wonderful and clever and witty. I want to see it again. Soon. And go see if you haven't.

I'm going to die and go make some more fruit tea now.

BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE.

In which Melanie delves in the wonderfulness of CIARA.

Because I was talking about my Year Ten friends specifically in my last post, Ciara got all jealous and thought that I didn't love her. Which is just silly, really. Of course I love Ciara; I think I feel undeserving of her the most because she's so awesome in a nerdy way. I've always admired Ciara in my own way and am incredibly happy that we are friends, because I like how her minds works. I like how soft her hair is, if that's not weird. She's part Irish, or pretty much just Irish depending on your point of view (for example, like Ciara, both my parents are from a different country, but, at least in my case, it's been debated too many times whether I am Brazilian because of my parents's nationality or English because I was born here; I personally, don't care), and Irish people are pretty chill. It's kind of hard to describe Ciara, but in short, she's just so sweet and nice and amazing; I'm lucky just to know her. Her supreme knowledge of everything, particularly Harry Potter and Science, is both intimidating and inspiring. At least I pwn her at being an Anime nerd; I probably pwn most people at that if I say so myself, but yeah. Ciara will probably tease me about that on Formspring but Anime is cool in its own way and it's super fun to make fun of too (if you know how).

Wow all one paragraph. That's so ghetto.

I love you Ciara.

Yours,

Mel.

In which Melanie apologises to Lauren...

...because this post is not going to be that special. Really. At least, not so far, because I'm feeling pretty lazy and have that weight on my conscience that has the shape of a Word document with some shit about Elizabeth Blackwell. Yeah... I really should get back to that soon-ish.

So, last BEDA day. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? Feelings? You want me to talk about my feelings? Okay, I guess I could do that with difficulty but regardless. That didn't make sense; and neither does most things, okay? Bye. Not really. Okay. Here we gooooo.

I think my friends are super pretty and awesome and I like them a lot. I cherish them more than I cherish any other thing that I have in my life. My friends are literally my extended family. They are just so nice and amazing. If you don't believe me, look at these: 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. I just, love them. I thought they should know that because they should know. Guys, I don't deserve you. Honestly, I don't. I suck compared to y'all. You're all too pretty, smart, witty, nerdy and both lame and cool in their own ways (like they should because cool/lame people are awesome;. just ask the volgbrothers).

On a much more disgusting note, the movie 'Splice'. Wikipedia it if you doubt that humanity is disgusting; it will fully fill that doubt. People are messed up. It sucks. And really, it's people like my friends who restore the faith that we can do good things.

I kind of wanted to write something nice about how much I like Lauren, Kate, Sophie, Ellie, Olivia, and co so much, but whatever. That's the vibe you should get from it anyway.

BYE BEDA I LOVED YOU IN APRIL BUT IN AUGUST YOU WERE JUST A PAIN. SEE YOU NEXT YEAR.

Yours,

Mel.

I HATE BEDA

I need to do homework and I can't blog right now, sorry. I like wheezywaiter. Bye.

Sorry.

So Lauren's a douche and is going to go to bed early because she is so unbelievably tired, both physically and mentally. Anyway, sorry. Ilovemelaniekress. Goodnight.

Woah, what a coincidence Mel is busy too?!!?

Not really. Lauren is busy reading and Mel is busy being lovely and enjoying the heat of Portugal whilst it rains in England (yay XD)

So this is going to be very short, in fact it's pretty much ending here. Goodbye. Sorry I suck at blogging for myself and other people. I should really not be trusted.

x

In which Melanie laments and celebrates Esther Earl.

Yeah, if you read my blog then you're a nerdfighter, in which case, you probably watch vlogbrothers and that means you know who Esther Earl is. If not, I have no problem at all in filling in you on as much as I know about this amazing girl.

Esther Earl was a sixteen year old girl who almost single-handedly (from what I can tell), helped the Harry Potter Alliance win $25,000 in order to help lesser fortunate people in less economically developed countries. Esther was bright and happy and smart and quirky. Esther was "astonishingly apathetic, really thoughtful (and) very funny", according to John Green. Esther was inspirational enough to all of Nerdfighteria to have a scrapbook filled with notes given to her by her friends, bursting with gushing words from Nerdfighters who loved her immensely. Esther Earl, at the ripe, tender age of sixteen, died from cancer early in the morning on 25th of August.

I... have to admit I never fully watched many of her videos. There weren't my style of entertainment and plus I thought she was too perky and a little annoying; I respected her deeply, but never really made a fuss of watching her. I saw her in a vlogbrothers video and I warmed to her the moment John Green attempted a puff fight, and she jokily replied, "I don't know, yours has a lot more shape than mine,". I guess the reason this is is because if I had cancer, I doubt I would be able to accept having my hair be a 'puff'; I doubt I'd be able to leave my room, let alone happily meet John Green. I'd be too depressed to eat, and yet watching some of her videos now, she was not that different to me; she claimed to be lazy, she spoke with her arms a lot, she got excited and sang Wrock songs. It's truly admirable that she just got on with her life instead of moping like I would have done.

I turned on Twitter the minute I found out, and saw all these people who I follow who were complaining about having to go to work, or their videos being too big to upload, and I felt angry. I never knew Esther personally but I wanted these people, a lot of them who outlived her, to be happy to be alive and kicking while Esther had already entered her endless slumber. I think it was when I saw her last Tweet, which she had posted at around midnight of the 24th, that I started to cry, or when I found out her age; I imagined me dying next year, or Ciara dying now, and it saddened me, and once I was crying I remembered the death of my Great Uncle and soon the tears were a mess of missing Esther and Tio Jorge. I prayed for the first time in ages that night, curled in my tent, still weeping as quietly as I could.

I wish I met her. I wish I'd talked to her. I wish I told her she was one of my heroes just because she never gave up.

But I don't think Esther would want me to live on in my 'I wish's, and instead I'm going to hold my head up high and live my life to the fullest for her. I'm going to be thankful that I'm someone who knew of her and could have been touched by her; I can imagine one day I'll look back on Esther and instead of wanting to fight back the tears in a Wi-Fi zone in a camping site, I will smile and tell those around me of this wonderful, beautiful young woman who I'd vaguely had contact with, who was ripped a long and prosperous life, and whose love for living had changed me.

For more information from better sources click here and here.

Always yours,

Mel.