Half-term.

And now begins my week off. Hopefully I'll be spending it productively, and that means going to Ciara's house and working my ass off. I need to do work this half-term. Planning on doing some revision tonight, even if just a little; because once I start I'll be able to get into it more.

The reason I haven't blogged in a while is because I haven't really got farther than that on my pirate story. As I said, I didn't really have a plot in mind and I guess I was just playing about, developing the characters and exploring them. I have some ideas in mind but... nothing solid enough for a real, strong story. Maybe I'll try to write some more on it, but atm I'm busy writing some Treasure Planet fanfiction while has been in the works inside my mind for a while. It involves an OC (original character for you fanfiction n00bs) and that may be behind my reluctance; no-one likes OCs, especially when it's a love interest. Especially when in the original movie/book/whatever there wasn't a love interest involved for the character, because they assume it's a self-insert.

That's not to say that I don't share similarities with Lily; but it's things like: she's shy and has brown hair. I mean, hers is darker. And messier. Or not; I haven't decided whether it's straight or not, but I think it's kind of curly. It suits her best.

She's an interesting one because she's turned out deeper than I thought she would be; she acts all cool and indifferent because I wanted a girl who could baffle Jim and leave him flustered and confused. But then I wanted her to be a girl and get all flustered from Jim too, so I've kind of based her off Haruhi from Ouran. Y'know, when she falls for Tamaki in the manga and blushes all the time. I wanted both characters to not know how to deal with the other, because... I thought it'd be sweet. And that's how adolescence itself it; understanding things one moment, and then not the next. Jim thought he knew girls, my Jim doesn't know them well, but then Lily comes along who will be friendly one minute but then he asks her out and she pushes him away and avoids him. Okay so maybe Lily's more like me than I thought :L

And likewise Lily's had boyfriends and knows how it works, but Jim unnerves her and she doesn't like it. Plus Jim still has the whole daddy issues subplot which I love so it's even more confusing for him. ~ADOLESCENCE~.

I'll maybe post some here, because I've got quite a few little one shots. Like the pirate story (God I wish I had a name for it, because calling it that is so annoying) it doesn't really have a set flowing story. I think of it as the film as it is but adding bits in, because having a giiiiirl on board would change everything (the Captain is not a girl, she is a woman; also the female pirate head is not a girl, she is a... an alien. And the Captain is a fucking cat). I don't see why they didn't do it; I mean I guess changing it to space is a pretty drastic change for the original and I don't mean that I think it would have been good to have a girl --I mean, it could have, but only if executed a certain way-- but just as in it's something Disney would have done. You know what I mean? They would have added in a girl; it would get girls to want to watch the movie. But, then again, would have put guys off. Oh well, I guess I'll just have my fanfiction.

Do you guys want to see it? That includes you, people I know IRL: comment. I like it when you comment.

Yesterday I spent the day in London. All of London, it felt like. I went to my friend's, Artur's, house there because it was his mother's birthday the day before and she was having a get together. But he'd arranged to meet with some friends and so I tagged along.

It wasn't as awkward as I thought it was going to be, tbh. His friends are nice and friendly and included me; not that I needed it, because I like just the sound of conversation sometimes and the laughter even when I'm not involved. One of them seemed amazed that I live in Brighton and thought it was "cool". I assured that it wasn't that great; I love where I live but I know it's got a bit of a reputation of being... wild. Because we have hippies and goths and gays all in one place and a beach and parks; but while there are hippies and goths and gays, there's normal people too, just like every other place.

We went to an arcade. I loved it. I made a fool of myself in front of his friends because Artur is amazing at Dance Dance Revolution and I honestly struggle with medium while he is breezing through hard; I lost at the versus game we played; I bought lunch that I didn't need. But there was something so 90's about it that I was amazed; amazed that their only plan was to go to arcade and that was it. And to an arcade. The last time I went to an arcade that was just an arcade; a place that didn't have a pier but was just an arcade with arcade games and... it was beautiful. Just breathtaking.

We took buses around the place just randomly picking landmarks to go to; Big Ben, Trafalgar Square, Piccadilly Circus, Waterloo, Regent Street. We didn't spend much time at them but it was weird with how big London was and how to them it was just home whereas to me, even though I've been many, many times before, it's London. It's exciting and it's a place to plan to spend a day in, not somewhere you go on a whim.

It was weird to see Artur having other friends too; the fact that he's built a circle of friends in which I'm not included. I know it's stupid but it's weird when you grow up with someone and they're a huge part of your world and then they become a smaller part simply because you're not that big a part in theirs any more. It's like Luiza in Brazil like that too, but I've had years to get used to that.

I'm going to go now because I'm sure none of you will read this far.

Always yours,

Mel.

Missing Disney.

I guess it's too much time on tumblr that's making me seriously want to watch Disney; I mean, my blog has been pretty much Tangled recently and thus I'm following more Disney-related blogs, because everyone who loves Disney seems to love Tangled, and so I'm getting so much Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty on my dash that it's making me miss my childhood. I may not have had Harry Potter, but I had shitloads of Disney and anime in mine and I caught up with HP in the years where I was old enough to appreciate it so. I guess my point is that my childhood was pretty solid. I mean the 'moving countries twice' thing was emotionally crippling and has affected my self-esteem and confidence in talking to others in the worst way imaginable, but I had good TV/film.

I had badminton today and got praised! Woot woot all across the sky! It's the first time I've been kind of good at a sport and I know it's a relatively easy sport to play but let me revel in this little moment in which I'm actually good at something that's not academic. Okay moment over. It's time for story, eh?

“She’s impossible!” the Captain cried exasperatedly, slamming his hands down on the table. “She’s ridiculous and misleading and... impossible!”

“You said impossible twice,” Benjamin informed him calmly.

“I don’t care!” he said, kicking the wall. “We have sex and it’s absolutely astronomical and there I was thinking that from then on we could... I don’t know what I thought. I most certainly didn’t think that she’d have a sudden, sporadic mood change and leave straight after. She’s impossible.”

“Thrice.”

“Benjamin I’m serious!” he snapped. “What am I going to do? She’s making it so much more difficult than it has to be. She’s...”

“She is definitely unlike any of the other girls you’ve fraternized wise. But that’s why she’s my favourite. You’re going to have to learn your way around that one; she’s a force of nature.”

“You’re with her all the time,” the Captain said as if he’d only just realised. He gestured his finger towards Benjamin purposefully. “You know her better than anyone else; you could help me.”

“Just listen to her,” Benjamin said simply. “Listen to what she has to say. She’s actually rather interesting; she’s still so naïve after all that she’s done. After a conversation with her you can just hear it ringing in her voice; she talks about making love like it’s an act, not an emotional bonding. It’s almost like she can’t separate violence from sex.”

The Captain nodded rapidly, taking the information in and looked down at the floor, “Thank you for that. It’s not like I thought I did pretty well or anything; she seemed to enjoy herself as well. That’s slightly unnerving.”

“You’re very welcome.” He grinned. “But I’m serious: the way to go with Helena is just sit down and listen to her. But you can start by apologizing.”

*

Helena was contemplating whether Posh-Helena would have had straight hair and whether she would have stormed out of the Captain’s bed like she did.

Hands in his pockets, he strode towards her and sat down. “I truly am sorry if I upset you.”

Helena raised her eyebrows, “Go on.”

“And I promise to try my hardest to not be too overprotective.”

“Because?”

“Because you’re a strong, independent young woman who can take care of herself.”

She smiled, pleased, and took his hand; she didn’t know why but it felt instinctive. She turned his palm over in hers and traced the lines with her finger. “Thank you.”

“Though can I just say that in my defense, I think I’m the perfect amount of protective and if I am overprotective, it’s just because I don’t want you hurt.”

“I can handle of myself,” Helena reminded him softly, distracted.

He leaned his forehead against hers, “I know. It’s just... I’m paranoid, is all.”

“I know,” she breathed, blinking at him. “Vincent,” she said. “I’ve got that tightness in my stomach against. I think it means that you should kiss me.”

And so he did.

The King's Speech.

I was going to see Tangled again, but decided against it. I'll see it again at some point though; if I saw Burlesque and Twilight twice, then by God I'll see Tangled more than once so help me.

Ciara also thought I was a bit of a cock-tease, per se, regarding my story; by saying I had three parts and then just posting the one. She didn't say it in so many words, but that's what she meant. I mean, she used a sexual analogy, but that's just Ciara. Point being: you need to stop liking this story so much. All of you. Seriously. The pressure is too much. And it sucks a little bit, let's be honest.

Here goes:

Helena should have known that if just standing near the Captain felt different, then sex with him was going to be different as well. She released the pillow which she had clung to so fiercely and the world became still again; she could feel his breathing, sharp and warm, on her neck, the hot imprints of the kisses he’d planted on every patch of skin possible. She began to wonder if that was how it was supposed to be, if all it took for it to be that spectacular was the right person at the right time with the right amount of experience and need, when she was suddenly acutely aware that she was naked. She stretched out her arm from underneath him and began putting on his shirt.

“What are you doing?” he asked, rolling beside her.

“I don’t like being naked.” She said it very matter-of-factly. It was only when she saw his raised eyebrows that it didn’t really make sense. “Oh. Erm, I don’t know. I just don’t like being that exposed.”

He shook his head and laughed, rubbing his eyes and yawning. She watched the muscles in his arms tense and move as he stretched his arms behind him, fascinated and tempted to drag her fingers along them; confused, she said, “What? What is it?”

“If all it took was to make you feel vulnerable was to undress you I would have done so a long time ago.” She was about to speak when he slowly brought their faces together and kissed her sweetly and lengthily.

Pulling away, she blinked away the daze, “Why do you want me to feel vulnerable?”

“Well, you’re a woman; I feel you forget that sometimes. You’re very, very vulnerable to the world Helena and I think if you were more wary of how frail you are, I’d be more inclined to let you roam free.”

Though her body ached to be as close to him as possible, she wrenched it from his, “Firstly, since when am I an animal; and secondly, what does being a woman have anything to do with this?”

“Well you’re more likely to fall into the hands of danger, as you have already displayed—”

“That was one time!” she protested. “I’m getting very, very tired of you and Benjamin treating me like I’m defenseless child!” She stood up, hands balled into fists at her side. “I am not your helpless maiden or a damsel in distress! I can bloody handle myself and I don’t appreciate being treated like one!”

The Captain laughed uncertainly and reached for her, “Helena please let’s not argue, I—”

“No,” she said, pushing his hands away from her, “I’m not sure how I feel about... I think it’s best for now if we let this simmer for a bit until you’re ready to accept that I’m not a little miss that needs to be protected.”

He looked up, his eyes so incredulous. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, “Good day Vincent.”

Because I have three stories that haven't been posted yet.

Also, I know people have complained that they don't like small snippets of the story because they want to know what happened in between and honestly, the reason they're snippets is because literally nothing of interest happens in between. Nothing. Interesting ideas that can happen in the story pop into my head and I write it; in between, I just assume that they just sail and read or something. Here's the next installment:

You would have thought that Helena would have been nervous as she stood outside Vincent’s cabin, especially since it would be the closest that she would be to him in a while; it would make sense for her to be nervous. But, maybe because of the intimate look they exchanged, she felt that there was a barrier that was broken; she didn’t have to worry about him avoiding her anymore.

She had slipped the note under his door and waited until she heard him pick it up to skip back to Benjamin. Some of the crew had decided to stay in inns for their stay in the South of France, mostly to pick up women, but Vincent and Benjamin preferred to say on board along with the rest of the men. Helena had no business picking up women and something didn’t quite seem right anymore about her going about her working ways; the Captain wouldn’t have been happy and as they had just seemed to be getting back to how they were, she didn’t want to push it.

Benjamin was asleep in his hammock, even though he’d promised to stay awake and help her prepare herself. They had spent the day walking with, funnily enough, Benjamin as her escort; the Captain said he had business of his own to attend to and so she was allowed to frolic around as long as she was accompanied by Benjamin on these outings. Needless to say, the fact that they remained treating her like this helpless little thing still irked her, but she’d long since realised there was nothing she could do to fight it. It had been a pleasant day: Benjamin had seen her attempts at thievery and given her a lecture on how she needn’t take things anymore because whatever she wanted they could afford to give to her; unconvinced, she’d continued trying to steal things on many occasions, but Benjamin had caught her every time and just bought it for her instead.

Apparently it had been exhausting for him because, although he’d promised to talk her through beforehand, he was sound asleep in his hammock. She stalked over to him, ready to shake him awake; but he looked so peaceful that she didn’t have the heart to do so. Instead, she ran her fingers through her hair and smoothed out her shirt; she looked down glumly at her bitten-down nails and bony fingers. At times like these she would wonder what it would be if she was a graceful, delicate flower of a girl that stood up straight and wore dresses and corsets and drank tea with cakes; if she was actually Posh-Helena as opposed to Real-Helena. Posh-Helena would be confident with the right amount of bashfulness that would lure the Captain in so easily; Posh-Helena would have called him Vincent because she would be sure that it would make him wrap himself around her finger. The Real-Helena was already around his finger and she couldn’t bear to call him Vincent again because her pulse nearly choked her when she did so. The Real-Helena was far too frightened of what he did to her to be able to be sure of herself in the slightest.

The Captain was lying on his back in the middle of the ship, seeming to be staring at the sky. She went and stood over him; he too looked as if he was taking a nap but as she prodded him once in the side with her foot, his eyes snapped open immediately. She sat down one leg opposite him. They said nothing, just sat there looking at each other.

“How was your day?” asked the Captain, breaking the silence. Helena uncertainly played with the buttons on her shirt, undoing and doing up again the second button.

“It was very nice,” she said, her voice light. She was, despite the nervousness, still very happy that they were actually having a conversation. “The food here is delicious.”

“I suppose.”

“Hm, just because you grew up with luscious banquets in a mansion every night.”

“Heh.” He chuckled quietly. “Not every night.”

“It was probably still better than anything I ate for dinner.”

“Probably.”

“Mm.”

She looked up at him through her eyelashes and he was playing with the wooden floor, drawing patterns and circles with his index finger absent-mindedly. She watched him trace shapes for a while and, entranced, leaned forward. His hand stopped moving and he slowly raised his gaze to meet hers; breathless he leaned as well, but still leaving a significant amount of space between them.

Annoyed, Helena barked, “For goodness’s sake!” and pull him by his shirt towards her. He was too shocked to react properly but seemed dimly aware that if he didn’t hold her then she was going to fall back against the floor; so he wrapped one arm around her back while the other supported them both as strongly as it could.

He kissed her back but Helena realised that their position was far to awkward for him to be comfortable; he was too busy trying to prevent them from falling to be able to do anything else.

Panting, she pulled away. “Sorry,” she said, straightening herself up and kissed him again, trying carefully not to pull him too forcefully. She felt his hands bringing her closer this time, not just supporting her. She was cross-legged, practically in his lap with a firm hand on her back, clasping her to him. Hers knotted in his hair and tugged; apparently too hard because he jerked and groaned.

“Ow, Helena, love,” he laughed. She went in to kiss him again after apologising for a second time but he tutted and stopped her. Helena slumped back, disappointed. “Now what brought this one? I do recall you telling me that you needed some time? That we weren’t going to do this for a while?”

She didn’t like this; she didn’t like interrogation but most of all she didn’t like this interruption. She didn’t like that she could breathe, because that meant that they weren’t kissing and the things wrong with that were infinite.

“I...” She began and rubbed her face in frustration; how did he expect her to put it into words? “I don’t feel at ease around you, not exactly; but it just feels worse to think about it when I’m not. With you. So I think it’s common sense to see the wise option is for me to be with. You.”

“I see,” said the Captain; he seemed pleased but kept his distance, apparently enjoying the way she crushed the fabric of her trousers in her hand as way of restraining herself. She leaned in again and kissed his lips quickly, just as chastely as he had for that first time and kept their mouths very, very close; teasing him. But her plan wasn’t going as well as she thought because seeing his breathing coming quicker made her twice as nervous, twice as excited and twice as impatient. He reached for her just as she reached for him.