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Deathly Hallows.

This is pretty much DIRECTLY from my Tumblr - which is ittybittygrey.tumblr.com btw. Check that shit out, but it might enable you to see me in a different light. A much... hornier, more fangirl-y light. Don't judge, I've always been this way. I'm the same Mel as ever; I just hid it oh so skilfully.

Here we go.

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but basically it did not seem to affect me as much as it did with everyone else. No, I cried - but only past The Prince's Tale and once Harry brought Lily and James and Sirius and Remus back. Because somehow, despite how many characters there were, despite all the different amazingly complex backstories, the characters who touched me the most are the Marauders - the ones we hear less about.

I enjoyed it, I think. I don't know how I feel right now. I would love to be like the rest of you, and be all excited and feel very fulfilled about it and the way it ended, but I just can't. I'd be lying to myself. I'm not going to pretend that the film was flawless and I never expected it to be, and maybe I've just matured since last November and I've been able to look at things more seriously. Because looking back I just think of all the things I would have done differently.

For example:

• When Luna sat down next to Neville, I thought it was adorable. He looked so pleased just to be there while I couldn't help but notice that Luna looked a little bored. I thought she could have grabbed his hand in a kind of 'For goodness' sake' kind of fashion; just hastily and almost impatiently.
• When Ginny kissed Harry, on the steps, I would've loved it to pan up to reveal Ron, looking absolutely shocked and letting out a whimper. Frozen, Ginny and Harry stare in horror at him and Ron just waves his hands and says 'Not the time, not the time!'
• The fucking Romione kiss. Ugh.
• When Harry sees Ron and Hermione holding hands, it would have been nice for Harry to make a joke like 'Took you long enough'; but Hermione's little smug look was enough for me.

But I digress.

I'm avoiding reviews for now because I'm still not sure how I feel about it, and I don't want to be swayed either way; not until I've done this at least.

I liked The Prince's Tale part and it was the bit that stirred me the most and caused me to start crying. I also liked it when McGonnagall stepped in front of Harry to save him and I like Helena as Hermione. I liked most of the performances, especially Maggie Smith's, and Dan's and Tom's. The line at the end about the Elder Wand - "It's mine" - was said so casually and so just... Harry-like that I fell in love with Dan just then. He was the perfect Harry; he grew up to be, at least.

It was a fine film, I'm sure. Maybe I'm just bitter that there's no more. Maybe I'm annoyed that the epilogue came out so cheesily and that they made Ron pudgy; that they left out Teddy Lupin; that the kiss changed; that James Potter still does not look like James Potter to me; that the girl who played young Lily had brown eyes. I'm nitpicking.

However, I'm not sad. Bitter, maybe. But not sad. I just think they could have ended it differently. It wasn't bad but I didn't love it. I just didn't. Maybe it would've helped to have been in a packed cinema, where people were cheering and clapping at certain parts. But overall, I do not care for it that much.

But it made me realise something. It made me realise that if anything, it "ended" long ago; it ended with the books ending, if it ended at all. This film wasn't anything new, I wasn't really surprised and it just didn't feel like the end. I guess maybe that's something good about this film; this isn't the end. It really isn't. I feel like it'll never end. Magic never ends; I'll never stop loving these books, these characters, these films, these actors.

That's something so lovely about Harry Potter. Because there is a gap in between when the films come out, and the books, you learn to get on without it but it's as constant in your life as anything. It's always there; an undercurrent. You don't stop loving it, you just stop thinking about it all the time. And then a film comes out, and it all comes back. To me, this film is like... a child moving away from home. It's the ending of something, but it's not like I'll never see them again. I have Wrock, fanfiction and so many things, including my own mind, to imagine how things might have gone. And I can always look back, re-live Harry's school life.

This isn't the end, it just isn't guys. It ends when you choose it to; technically speaking, it could have ended long ago. And we didn't let it. So why should it be any different now?

Always,
Mel.

Last Day of School.

Hey blog. Haven't seen you since April. Crazy innit?

My last day of school was on Friday and I still don't know what I'm feeling. I'm returning for exams still and for my A-Levels and I'll be seeing most of my year at my prom; all the same, if I had to put it into words is that it's the end of an era. Truly. These people have been a part of my life for five years and now... a lot of them aren't going to be; my every day life at least. My form tutor cried as we gave him his presents, which were:

• A teddy bear in a rugby kit (it's his forte as a P.E. teacher)
• A t-shirt with a picture of our form on the front and handwritten messages from us on the back
• A picture of all of us throughout the years -- from 7HO to 11HO.
• Chocolate signed from us from Thorton's for him and his family

That's when I teared up because my teacher, as I said, is a rugby player or at least has the build of one and to see a man that big cry was so heartbreaking. He said that right off the bat he'd tell his new form that they'd never beat us so they shouldn't even try. That's why I cried; because I really love that man.

Then we had our last German lesson and I cried a little then too and then we had R.E. and then we had our Leaver's Assembly. Also, I got one of the guys I liked in the past to sign my notebook in which I was gathering messages from people to sign it and he said he loves me (!). He actually signed it twice because he didn't realise. All the same, I was happy. I got the guy I currently like to sign it too but he was so drunk all he wrote was my name and it's not even legible; not going to lie, I was sad about that and a little annoyed and felt a bit pathetic. It just proved that he really did not like me or know me to the point where... I dunno. It just proved my crush on him was so fickle and pointless and I felt like an idiot. I joked about it later, but yeah. It stung.

The Assembly was lovely. My year had loads of talented people in it and we're all so supportive - Hector danced ballet and to see even the guys stand up and clap at the end of it just goes to show much we've grown since Year 7; I doubt Hector would have had the same reception in Year 7. We've grown and I hadn't even noticed until that moment. I was eleven when I started that school and being sixteen seemed to far away and it felt like I'd be so grown up when I was in Year 11. I'm not.

Our Head of Year cried too when he did his little speech and honestly all I remember from it was he walked off stage and as we all cheered he lunged for the mike again and said, "I love you all."

Then the BBQ, which ran out of food for Kate and I but I got some more signatures and then we walked to the beach and hung out and went to Sophie's. At Sophie's I did realise how much I loved my friends and how I'm lucky that I have friends who are lovely and cool and like me can sit there and just laugh at the absurdity that we are not school students anymore. We're a strange in between of school student and college student and we're doing it together and somehow that doesn't make it sad or weird, it just makes it funny. Honestly we were so happy I think I became sad; it was just such a bittersweet joy.

Exams now, gah!

Love,

Mel.

BEDA #30: I feel like I should end this with an epic post.

But my life has never been that epic has it?

Overall, BEDA this year became kind of tedious but I'm, like always, glad that I did it because it's a fantastic outlet and you lot seem to care a bit about my life which is bizarre, but nice all the same. I like going back to my old blog posts and seeing how I've changed and how I haven't and see those of you who are still around (Elisabeth <3) and wonder why. I swear I was more annoying in 2009 than I ever will be; I was just so desperate to be quirky and random that I look at the posts and cringe. Is that pretentious of me? Probably. I seem to notice how pretentious I am getting every day that goes by. It's an increasing thing too.

Went to the library today. Got 1984 by Orwell because well, I thought I should. I'll get to reading that tonight and I'll let you know how it goes.

Also updated my ipod. I love adding stuff to my ipod and taking stuff off. It feels like a fresh start with my music.

I wish I could say more, but I can't think of what to say apart from: DOCTOR WHO TONIGHT WOOT WOOT.

That's all folks,

Mel.

BEDA #29: The Royal Wedding.

I will say my peace: I am neither for or against the Royal Wedding. If anything, I am for because it's given me a day off school and because I like historical events like this. I like the idea that from years to come I can say that I was there, watching Prince William get married. I like weddings and I think Kate Middleton seems pretty lovely.

I understand the opposition: yes it's our taxes, yes people are missing work days, yes the Royal Family essentially do nothing. But really, I just see it as pretty harmlessly sweet. That might just be because I don't pay taxes, but I'm okay with this wedding.

I've been live tweeting but my dad turned it over so I'm watching it now live on Youtube after my lunch, waiting for the kiss on the balcony and for the first dance. I think we get to see the latter; we saw Charles and Diana. Rumour has it they're dancing to Ellie Goulding's rendition of 'Your Song', which I like because that song is pretty sweet.

Also, I have developed a slight crush on Prince Harry. This crush will probably we eradicated by next week but that's how I am. I remember my week-long crush on Andrew Lee Potts and Matthew Morrison. I regret nothing.

That's pretty much all that's going on with my life. I'll see you tomorrow for the last day of BEDA.

Love,

Mel.

BEDA #28.

Today I had no Portuguese or Therapy, so I'm going to yoga later and that means I have time to blog. Goody for you, huh?

I guess the highlight of my day is that my fanfic was uploaded (the Legion one). I hated the film it's based on, but it's just so... gah. Yeah, gah. I tried to add a quote but it's not working for some reason? Blogger is weird like that. Has stuff happened to you guys like that before? It happens to me frequently; the font messes up and the text just refuses to do what I tells it to.

I feel once again that I've lost my blogging mojo and so I've got Glee open in a window next to this one and hoping inspiration will suddenly come to me. All I can think is 'Finn's not that bad of a dancer so why is that the thing that he wanted to change about himself?'

Aw, Finchel moment. Now I remember why I like them. Finn is cute although a bit... hypocritical but he's wholesome and overall he means well and most of the time is a little selfless. He makes mistakes, but he usually makes up for it and learns his lesson. More than I have to say for Quinn, say; who will I think has so much potential, the writers continue to make her one priority being the most popular girl in school. After getting pregnant and see how everyone turned on her, you'd think she'd see that none of the like people had for her was genuine that she would want to just be around those who truly liked her. Do not get me started on how there was no mention of the trauma she must have gone through by giving up her child or the fact that Puck told her he loved her and for some reason it was never acknowledged. One thing Glee cannot do is continuity.

I've made a Tumblr friend called Jo. She's Dutch and 17 and our friendship consists of telling each other how much we love each other/fangirl over each other and planning how I can get to the Netherlands so we can get married. It fascinates me how we can get along despite the fact that I'm an Amy/11 shipper whereas she's a River/11 shipper. It's not quite on the same level of animosity, but the two ships remind me of Harry/Hermione and Ron/Hermione except that would mean that Amy/11 is like Harry/Hermione, when it's not quite. My ship kind of happened because Amy used to sort of have feelings for The Doctor yet in contrast Hermione never really did, I don't think. Amy/11 is platonic now, but at least on Amy's side it wasn't always. But River/11 is blatantly canon now, so in that sense yes they are alike.

It's kind of odd because I'll genuinely be in lesson and I'll think, 'I want to talk to Jo'. I also think this quite often. It may just be me associating her with Tumblr and wanting to go on Tumblr, but I'll just get the feeling that I want to text Jo and then I'll remember I can't. And I'll get annoyed. I just want to talk to Jo all the time. She's also much, much wittier than me and I often feel very unworthy of all this attention because what she says makes me laugh and I wonder if I have the same effect, which I probably don't. I can only hope she'll rub off on me.

I also got two As in my Chemistry exams. I have to say I knew I did well though because the tests were very, very easy. That may be because I revised, but I get the feeling it's only because I find Chemistry easy and the stuff we learn for some reason just clicks with me. It's lovely.

This has been sufficiently lengthy. I have the day off tomorrow (Royal Wedding) and so I'll blog tomorrow as well. I'll do a proper one too.

I'll see you then,
Mel.

BEDA #27.

Sorry the posts have been shitty recently but I don't have that much time for these things. Meanwhile, I've been writing fanfiction, shipping things that will never be canon and running on the crosstrainer as an attempt to get my thighs to stop ballooning. So nothing's changed much anyway.

Lesbians on Glee now!

Mel.